I sHuD jUsT lEt iT gO

2007-05-28T15:39:00.000+08:00

Time flies man. Haha. But at the same time, I still feel that it's travelling so slowly. Sob.

Been a hectic week for me. Weekends are burnt by SM motor redemption. Came to work so early and stuff like that. Sleep late coz burnt by rotting late at night with friends.

I managed to have a bit of life here and there when I work morning. After work still can see the daylight. Shops are still open, got a bit of chance to hang out with friends I guess.

Things are going well these days. Though I was scolded a few times at work, but work is work la. I still enjoy my peaceful quiet days when I'm at home or after work, going home with my friends.

Did I mention that today I off? Haha. Well, I haven't catch Spiderman. Think I gonna catch it tomorrow with Metta ba. Been a while since I last catch movie with her le. Haha.

Oh ya, I got the news that I'm transferring soon. I wonder if the news is bad or good.

2007-05-20T22:45:00.001+08:00

hahaha. I'm sooooo tired today. I dunno why these days liek not sleeping well. I have enough sleep, but then when I wake up it seems like my whole body nv rest like that lo. Very tiring. Sigh. Next week another blockbuster coming up. I think I gonna die earlier with the stress load I'm facing. Plus, schedule is gonna be handed to me soon. Oh well.

Haha, I seriously need a talk to my sisters soon. I so god damn missing them. I need to talk to them about the business we're gonna work together. I wonder if anyone of them still on ma?

Oh well. I find myself wanting to stay at home more and more often. I guess working now makes me appreciate that I have a home to go back to. To sleep and stuff like that. Life is really good if I can stay at home everyday. Haha.

Maybe I should start looking for freelance jobs. To earn a bit more income. Haha.

I'm mad le.

Sometimes I also dunno wat I'm typing about in my blog. Think I'm still a bit lost in my life.

Anyway, probably putting up some siggys I made during my free time.

LOL. My best friends in maple. ^^

I'll be changing a phone soon. And changing my lappy. Buy more clothes and shoes and bags. I wanna buy perfume also. Then I wanna go WAXING. Hahahah! I mad le. Slowly ba. I will save money de. ^^

Tuesday is the gala for pirates. God bless me.

2007-05-17T01:38:00.000+08:00

I had a talk with Edmund today. To think about it, it's been a while since I heart to heart talk with anyout out there. These days I'm been trying to run away from reality. And talking about reality really depresses me. And ya, today I'm depressed coz I talked to Edmund about our common topic, Life.

I've been avoiding this topic very long le.

When can I find my light?

2007-05-10T02:29:00.000+08:00

Ello there. lol. Well, just got home. Kinda tired these days.

Not sure wat to blog too. Well, met a few stupid customers today. I mean, some customers can get really unreasonable at times. Not that I'm taking things to heart, I'm fine, find it funny, but then, a bit sian to get screamed at when it's not our fault.

Hmmm, work was alright these days. Not as busy as last week. Redemptions aren't that many as well.

Hmmm. I started to wear home clothes to work also le. A lot of comments from the rest. I'm like so paiseh. Haha. Walk in the office like very paiseh sia. Haha.

2007-05-05T03:41:00.000+08:00

Ello there.

I haven't been able to fully write a detailed entry ever since I start working. Seriously. I wanted to blog out all this feelings inside of me for so long, but I nv seem able to. I seem to have a lot of things to do, a lot of things to settle. I want to have someone to talk to you know? A sister whom seem so far away now. My sisters whom I lost contact a little. How I miss them so much. How I become the person I am now, I really dunno who I am anymore. I feel lost, I feel scared. I wanna find my way out of this mess, but I'm struggling. I seem like I dun need anyone for me, but the fact is I'm just a girl who need someone to talk to. Someone I can be real to.

I'm not trying to get emotional. I know the real world is tough. I really need to buck up and grow up. But, by losing myself to nothing, is really something I dun wish to see myself in the future. I need to find a purpose in life. A purpose which I lost dunno how many ages ago.

I miss my friends you know. I miss singing, movies, shopping, playing games, hanging out, looking pretty with them. I wish I can go back school.

It's not that I dun love my work. It's just that, I need to find a purpose in my life. I feel so alone, did I bring this up upon myself? I dunno who I can trust man. Who can really help me out when I'm in deep shit? People tell me they love me, do they really love me? Do they really love me for who I am, for wat I do?

I miss myself. I wish Wendy would come home...

2007-05-01T01:26:00.000+08:00

Hi.

Sorry for the lack of updates. Been really busy lately.

Well, I've fallen sick recently. Totally lost my voice. My voice sounds like I'm living underwater now. Really. I cannot even laugh. My tummy hurts when I laugh coz I cough too much. Sigh.

Hmmm, and I've been really swey recently. I just got my pay and return 250 to Daniel. Then 250 in my wallet wanna pay bill de, then I lost the freaking wallet with my IC inside. Make IC cost 100 for 1st times. Then, my bill haven't pay, means another 300 gone. Wtf right. Money keeps flowing away from me. Very sad de lo. Somemore, that day Alfred accidentally bank in extra 50 bucks. Then when I closing I short 50 bucks, I paid leh. Then tmd the 50 bucks Eve say cannot get back. I super swey with money. Sigh.

hmmm, sigh.

2007-04-18T03:34:00.000+08:00

Ahhh, yes, I forgot to mention I ton at lex house on Saturday night til Sunday afternoon.

There wasn't much of us around, but I managed to catch Ja, and Pam, along with Pipi and Lex too. We play mahjong like we nv gonna touch mahjong again sia. Play whole night and when Ja came and take over in the morning like 6am like that, I just fell asleep immediately sia. When I woke up it's lik 11am plus, took over Pam while she catch some wink, and continue mahjong til 2 plus. I lost 10 bucks over. Super sad. Then long time nv see Pipi le. Kinda miss her a lot sia.

Hmmm, work has been stressful lately. I suddenly miss my freedom so much. Times when I just rot at home do nothing. >.< Sigh. I wish 2 years just pass ASAP.

I still have anime not yet finished. Better chiong. =x

Seeya!

2007-04-14T03:24:00.000+08:00

I just came home!! I had FUN!! Hahaha. I met up with Viv coz it's her birthday, along with 3 of her friends, Sam, Daniel, Gil, and so on.

Wait, before I go into the outing, just wanna tell you guys that my work has been alright. I feel useless in box actually. I mean, there's Jane and Metta there. I practically didn't have to do anything. Not that I'm complainint or wat, maybe I just need to work on skills on box. >.<>.<

Ok, on to my trip. WEEEE. I met up with Gil first of coz. While waiting for Viv, he mention that on the newspaper there's this cutting on Taka Jewellery, a ring that's originally 59.90 now cost 60 cents. YES. I'M SERIOUS. Gil told me that he went a few outlets, it's sold out le. Then we walked past Centrepoint de outlet while on the way to withdraw money, and checked with the store whether there's any left. THERE IS! A 60 cents worth of ring! Then we crazily went to the nearest 7-11 store and purchase newspaper, just to cut out the coupon and purchase it lo. Then actually I wanna keep it de. But since I didn't get anything for Viv, I decided to give her the ring instead lo. >.<

Anyway, I had a Warm Choco Cake from starbucks before heading into PartyWorld. I really had fun tonight. I had one cup of beer though it's disgusting, I really hate beer. zzz. Anyway, I was shocked when Pam and Gil gave me a belated birthday present. I really love it! I mean, really really love it. I didn't expect them to give me anything, since it's Viv's party we're talking about, but I really appreciate the tot lo. I LOVE IT. I LOVE PAM. MUACKS SISTER!

I sang a lot today, after PartyWorld was like 2 plus coming to 3, so I decided to go home while they head to another Pub to continue drinking. Ken send me home, really appreciate it too. =D

Tomorrow is MAHJONG NIGHT. Gonna see Pam, Lex, Ja, Des, Jess, Pipi, bla bla bla. Happy happy! OFF DAY IS COMING SOON!! FINALLY!!

2007-04-12T23:03:00.000+08:00

Wah lao. I very pissed off with my freaking brother leh. Sometimes he really know how to climb over my head de lo. NB LA. That anime is not mine can. Is my friend de lo. My friend borrow me I haven't even fucking watch finish he nb bring go his work place there and watch. NOW I CANNOT FIND THAT ANIME AND I DUNNO WAT HAPPEN TO IT. My friend even asked me to take care of it somemore. Kao. Then these days coz my lappy de wireless kinda down so my brother no choice have to use it. And he's like using so much space for the games now that I'm kinda pissed that I allowed him to use my lappy lo. Very sian de la. Sigh

Work has been stressful and tiring. It's like a standard I have to live up to. I not sure if I'm giving myself more stress then needed. Worrying about being able to fit in, whether your staff is giving you support, whether you have enough time for this for that. Sigh. It's been quite a while since I actually really smiled at anyone. Except for some peeps in that place la. They made me feel at least, welcome back to Cathay, that kind of feeling. At least, they can crack jokes with me that make me feel really comfortable. I feel less like myself each day pass.

I miss myself. I miss my friends. I miss my freedom. But I guess life isn't fair. I need to become a working adult le.

Well. I had a bit of fun yesterday though. Went clubbing though I didn't stay until very late. Had a few photos taken, but I dun have them in my phone. All scattered everywhere. Haha. Went to bed like 4am in the morning, wake up 7am for work. I'm like totally, shag. It's like, check programme compo can fall asleep inside like that. Then tio scolding from Eve lo. I notice she like nv scold other staff like that. I wonder if it's coz I'm younger so need more scolding. Sigh. I know stuff like dun take her words to heart and stuff, but then, it's not nice to tio scold. Somemore she say she wanna slap me. I was rather shock. Was I that bad?

I saw Samantha yesterday. She say wanna talk to me until now nv talk lo. Sigh. Can see that me and her the wall getting stronger each day. I also dunno wat to do about it. I'm still waiting for her to talk to me. lol.

I'm so tired. Tml's viv firstday wor. I wonder if I should wait til 12am to message her happy birthday. We're meeting up tml.

I think I'm really that bad la. I dun think anyone knows that I'm that down either. I guess people can't tell ba.

I can't really find an aim in life le. After I graduate, like I said before. I'm lost. I dunno wat I should aim for in life. I really need to have a good chat with my sisters soon. I miss them horribly.

2007-04-04T20:16:00.000+08:00

Hey guys. Haha

Very sorry for the lack of updates. I've been doing very well I suppose, just freaking tired here and there, but still managing well with my time I guess.

Wanna say a lot of things, but seems like I know a lot of people would be reading. Maybe I'll consider moving my blog to private again. Hahaha.

My birthday has been an enjoyable one. Someone brought me to eat Jap food yesterday, had fun, and I managed to meet quite a lot of friends at the same time. I drop a few tears when Sam and Daniel came down and find me just to had me a brownie cake. On it wrote, Happy Birthday Ke Ai de Wen! Haha. Must be Sam's doing. Work is like work. Nothing special on my birthday, haha. But well, I managed to get a few best wishes and stuff like that. Thanks.

I miss Jess so much. When I saw her yesterday, I almsot forgotten how comfortable I am always when I'm with her. I dun have to worry how she judge me and stuff like that. I miss her so much.

Anyway, been learning a lot about work recently. I'm still afraid wat is prepared for me the next few weeks.

Have to deal with my bosses and stuff like that. I'm thankful that I still have stuff who dunno me and still respect me ba. And I can work along with Christ, Fabian and Su etc.

Anyway, just wanna thank my sisters for sending me wishes, and of all people, SiewTing, ShanYun, and people. Thanks guys!

Lol. These days like less things to blog about le.

Feeling a bit lost on wat I wanna do.

I'm losing my habit of mapling le, which is good I guess. Work makes me no time for a lot of things, though I'm still able to hang out with friends, but I'm rather tired at the end of the day. Turning 20 makes me feel extremely old. Haha.

I guess I gotta find things to look forward in life now. Life without hope isn't worth living. Haha.

I got my license, I got my Diploma, wat else do I want in life?

I dunno man.

Everything seems so blurry.

I dun really know wat am I aiming for now. Haha.

Oh well. I hope when the time comes I'll figure out myself.

2007-04-03T00:15:00.000+08:00

lol.

Happy birthday to me.

2007-04-02T16:47:00.000+08:00

MY HANDPHONE LINE IS BACK!!! SOB

2007-03-26T19:30:00.000+08:00

Haha. Finally.

Sorry guys. I dunno wat happen to my blog recently. Watever I publish, just wouldn't come out.

Alright, 2 weeks of my work has pasted. Everything was ok I guess. A bit tired that's all. I only looking forward as my pay approaches. Haha.

And oh, just wanna inform u guys that my hp line is being cut. Need to pay my bills before I can sms anyone again. Kinda saddening. Sigh.

Anyway. Hope everyone is fine. Haha. I miss u all.

2007-03-26T19:28:00.000+08:00

testing testing. 1, 2, 3

Can publish?

2007-03-12T18:47:00.000+08:00

Start my job le. T.T

No life liao. Can predict. My schdeule machaim no off day like that. Kao. Anyway, I reach the HQ super early la. I scared I cannot flight cab so I went there one hour early at PS. Who knows I just reach nia got cab liao, so I reach the HQ one hour earlier. And rotted there. I saw Evelyn and Matt. =D Cool. I miss Matt. Really. Haha.

Hmmm, anyway, I go there, seems like, there's a lot of people I still know of there. During break was a bit weird. I didn't really feel like eating. So, I went kitchen and rotted with PeiPei. Hmmm. Seems like a lot bu shuang me come back de feeling leh. T.T

Aiya, but I make new friends I guess. I SHORT 50 CENTS LO. PLUS. I DIDN'T KNOW UOB ONLY ALLOW FIRST 2 TICKETS DICOUNT NOT THE REST. ROAR. They nv tell me only tell me UOB got 12% discount. Neh neh. I asked Jeffery pay for me coz he nv train me good enough. ROAR. They practically left me alone for me to die leh. Wth? I still know the basics la. But ALONE leh! Sob.

Anyway. Sigh. More days to come. T.T

2007-03-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

lol. I'm dead beat la. I rotted in school for like dunno how many hours from 12pm to 10pm sia. And I spend 3/4 of the time playing daidee all the way. Other people got change players I didn't even change player sit there rot all the way lo. I feel like a pro rotter.

Anyway, took lots of zi lian photos of my cute self la. LOL. Waiting for the group photo that's wth Ker.

Photos coming right up. =D

Haha. I GRADUATED LE!! YEA!!!

My zi lian self during Fusion. SUPER BORED LA.

Oh well. I HAD NO VISITORS TODAY. Super sad la. LOL. But it's okie for me really. =D I still managed to rot my way through. ^^

2007-03-07T21:54:00.000+08:00

Sian. Maple patch so long. -.-

Tomorrow's Graduation Day. Hmmm. Nice. Hahaha.

These days really damn tired. Had to go to sch just to waste time. But it was fun seeing Melvin, Ekin, and YaoWei they all again. =D We're suppose to set up coms and tidy up the show room, but time drags on and we spend our time playing UNO and DaiDee instead. Can't believe my daidee luck. I hardly win in Daidee de, but my beginning the luck quite good neh. After that keep losing liao. ROAR. I keep shuffling the cards one lo. I cannot believe it leh. Can entire cards at hand bo ace, bo dee, bo ah pek ah ma and ah jack de. KAO. ALL SMALL NUMBERS. zzzz.

Anyway, that day pass rather fast. Had fun, went home but couldn't sleep again. I shi mian until 5am sia. Then woke up early today. 8am. Another tiring day. Went to sch, set up more stupid stuff lo. Sigh. Then Cathay HQ ask me go down medicial checkup TODAY OR TOMORROW. Like. I got no plans for the entire day like that. And her tone is like "I'm sure you can do it" that kind of thing. She know I'm preparing for my graduation stuff lo. And tml is my big day leh. And she expect me to go down tml. zzzz. Pls la. Sigh. Thus, I have to leave everything behind in school and go for the checkup at PARAGON. Sigh. I dun dare reject coz they sound like I have to do it or else trouble arises. They asked if I'm able to start work on Monday. ROAR. Means, after my Fusion Show 2007, I'm rotting in Cathay le. Sigh.

Suppose to go club, with Jess and KJ, but I got things to settle in school today and tomorrow, so I guess I have to skip this one.

I'm tired.

2007-03-03T20:46:00.000+08:00

I'm freaking tired. Not much rest lately. Due to the fact that Sam came by my house every other day to ton. Then need to accompany her. Not that I'm complaining. Just that I not enough sleep. Hahaha.

Well, I'm back playing maple. Btw, hello to YaZz. I never know that YaZz and me same age. Haha. But then, when I read my blog, realise that he also wanna quit maple. See his entry like mine like that when I mega to quit. Hmmm.

I guess my friends really want me to come back. I'm going to work soon, really afraid that I will log in maple less. I guess it's a good thing too. Can't be forever stuck in a game. but I will log in just to rot in my usual place la. And chat. ^^ Wat Jason say is true too, dun coz of him quit maple. Not worth it. Coz all my friends also go in and chat de. Anyway, I realise one truth that made me woke up entirely. I'm rather sad at the truth, feel like I'm being cheated, but it's okie. Like I said, he's not worth wasting anymore tears. I guess we're still friends. But I kinda regretted how things turn out. I should have been more careful again before I fall in love. Seems like I forever will nv learn my lesson.

Enough of him. I'm going back Cathay work soon. I went down to talk to Eve and Evelyn the other day. They want me back as a Sup. Frankly, I'm really afraid things wouldn't turn out well. I mean, afterall, I'm gone for a yr plus. There are many changes. Really afraid if I become sup I wouldn't be able to perform like I used to. Knowing Eve, I know she have doubts in me. She told me that I join just for the job sake. But knowing Eve, I hope her words are there to push me to work harder. Eve say Evelyn take me as high regard. Dunno bullshit or not. Anyway. I signed my death papers. Very soon I'll have no life in Cathay like in the past.

I'm happy yet afraid. Things are gonna be different. And I really wanna prove to Eve that I really want to come back to Cathay. I wanna do a good job.

As for guild wise, Lex left guild for Viv le. I just hope everything goes well with him. I wish him all the best. The both created a guild which only have both of them in it. ^^ Sweet right. Haha.

Like I say, who cares about pros and lvls. I despise people who maple coz of lvl. I dun mind if you wanna lvl, but pls lo. People who say can quit so easily without tears, are people who think it's just a game. Lol. that the people inside aren't important. Too bad. These people are important to me. lol. I realise I can't just quit like that. lol. not becoz of a guy. i'll stop one day. but not coz of a guy.

ya. I went to catch a movie with Gil today. Happily N'ever After. CARTOON!!! >.< But not bad leh. =X I slack with his friends at Suntec and Marina Square. They both quite fun to be with. Enjoyed myself today though I'm falling a bit sick.

Oh yes. I saw Robin today. Not poly Robin, the one I know from metro in the past. Like, 3 yrs ago? Very long nv see him le. and OMG. HE IS CUTE. Hahaha. I'm honoured that he recognised me. Coz it's like really long I didn't see him le. And HE CALLED ME. Hahaha. HE IS CUTE!

Ahem. I almost wanted to ask for number, but, hey, I'm not desperate. Haha. AND I NV ASKED FOR A GUY'S NUMBER DE. ROAR.

2007-02-27T00:27:00.000+08:00

Wah. I really rotted in Sam's house today. Watch her do her project. Why rot at her house and not mine? Coz. Got company ma.

I talked to both Jess and Sam today. Realise that Jess actually grown up quite a bit. Looking at her and myself. Realise that I'm the one who'se lost now. haha. I dunno about my future. I used to handle my future well. Know wat I wanna do and stuff. But now, seems like I dunno wat I want anymore. Lost. Confused. Looking at her, knowing she found full time job, and stuff, make me wonder wat's gonna happen to me?

K la. I wanna play pc mahjong le. Seeya! Talk more next time round

2007-02-26T17:12:00.000+08:00

Omg. I slept at 2am yesterday, and I woke up 4pm today. I'M SUCH A PIG.

Anyway. Going out soon. Going Sam's house to rot. Haha. At the same time. Go back coffee bean to search the bottle myself. humph. Kaoz, dun tell me someone took my bottle home lo. ROAR. T.T

My friend yesterday said my face very pale. This afternoon I woke up my mum also say my face look very pale. Probably tired ba. Haha. Though I slept so much, but nightmares and mental stress is enough to wear me out. I think I look more tired than I am in school.

I better go prepare. Seeya.

2007-02-25T21:21:00.000+08:00

Damn sleepy. Didn't sleep last night. Went breakfast with Lex early in the morning until 9am, went home sleep a while. Woke up at 1pm and head to WestMall with Metta and Sam to catch Norbit. Pls dun waste ur money watching Norbit. It suck. The only funny part which I find is laughable is the part where the fat ass slide down the water dip and went right through the wall. Omg. I laugh like shyt in the cinema. Hahaha. But that's the only funny part leh. The whole movie was kinda boring and stupid. The Kate is a babe though. If only I have half her features. Haha.

Anyway, me, Sam and Metta rotted at pastamania for dinner, we rotted there for quite long. Chatted about a lot of noob shyts. About relationships and stuff.

And guess wat. I lost the water bottle that was suppose to be lama's christmas present. Haha. I cannot believe that I lost it at coffee bean. Someone throw it away. T.T Coz Sam went back to help me find. Cannot find le. The staff there say they didn't see any adidas water bottle there. Sad la. Wat's not mine, really wouldn't come back. Sigh.

2007-02-25T01:38:00.000+08:00

Okie. My brother went back to work le. Now feeling a bit lonely at night. Lonely nights sucks. Hahaha.

You know wat. I seriously need to get a job soon. It's not about the money now. Money is one point. But with so much time at hand and doing nth, I'll just have nightmares even if I'm awake.

U know. I was nv like that. Roar. I used to spend nights ALONE and I DUN CARE. Since when I become so weak and pathetic.

You know. I recently had a friend who had heart disease. My best friend. It's really scary. I mean, he's my best friend. And suddenly his life is shorten so much. Can you imagine if it happens to you? Wat if it happens to me? Haha. He said. Tell the people out there how much you love them. Why do people always wait until it's too late then they say I love you?

Amazing how people can get over stuff so fast. People say the fastest way to to find someone else to like. So easy meh. lol.

Nah. I'm not desperate. WO SHI INDEPENDENT. Hahaha. I'm like that ever since I'm in secondary school. >.< How much I try I still couldn't change myself. Not many guys like indepandent girls.

I hope this kind of entries stop one day. I HOPE I STOP WRITING EMO ENTRIES. I REALLY HOPE TO GET MYSELF BACK. I MISS WENDY HAU.

2007-02-24T07:11:00.000+08:00

lol. I cannot believe myself. Like that I also can have nightmare.

Cannot believe myself. Haha. Nightmare until I cannot go back to sleep. Power leh.

Wat I dreamt of? I dreamt that he got someone new. Haha. I dream like that previous nightmare I have. He message the wrong person. He message his girl but dunno why message me instead.

I'm just speechless.

Another sleepless night.

2007-02-24T01:44:00.000+08:00

Hate him. Miss him. Loved him.

Christmas season.

Clocking with gm.

When I turn 120. lol. lots of mega. thanks guys

Me and Samantha in game. lol.

First time fight blue mushmum. funny sia.

The day when we become 1.

Memorable. Thank you.

My brother turn piggy. LOL.

lvl 55 neh. MY NOOB PERIOD. lol.

2007-02-24T00:55:00.000+08:00

lol. I just mega that I quit maple.

Lots of mixed feelings. Lots of memories.

From the first few occasions when I was still depending on my brother when I was lvl 35. Get to know viv, lex all.

Then I play other games awhile, before coming back with my poly friends. Chiong lvl. Seperated from viv and lex. Met Desmond. met meiping. met mei.

Slowly advance to mg. where i meet lama. lol. much treasured memories with him. i still smile when i remember he log in just to ask me "did you wear ur engagement ring?" lol.

reunioned with lex and viv. poly friends nv play le. my brother tio ban come back. we chiong lvl. created new guild. with so many friends joined in. everyone is important to me. sam, jason. lex, viv. my brother. my bl. mira. fen. sil. jerry, ken. lamb. so many people.

I guess giving up my account is not easy as some people who say quit means quit. got a lot of feelings there. a lot of friends. a lot of memories.

but then. I guess I'm not important after all. maybe i was nv important.

2007-02-22T15:14:00.000+08:00

I'm dying. Hahaha.

Yesterday clubbing was fun la. One of the most fun on I had recently. I did dance with a few guys. But then, KJ and Sam dunno dumb or wat. Ask them come rescue me like cmi like that. zzz. But then, I'm happy with the music, and I actually can dance in peace. Wah, even though I wear flat, I can dance until my legs are aching leh. It's been a while since I enjoy myself like that. Me, Sam and KJ down one jug of vodlka lime, not much of a kick, but able to high for a while. Kao eh, Singaporean guys are mostly desperate. Haha. I prefer guys who dance with me without touching pls. Yesterday the three of us were surrounded by guys the entire night leh. zzz. But nvtheless, it's fun. =D I didn't drink much. >.< I wanted to. But then, no one to talk me home, so, better not ba. Sigh. Oh ya. We went with KJ's friends, but not close with them, so basically we three dance among ourselves while they hevoc. =X

Before clubbing I went Sam house a while. We talked. When going home we talked as well. Wat we talked made me can't sleep last night. I rolled in bed until 8.30am then managed to fall asleep de. Sigh. Somehow talking to her make my hopes up. But it's not suppose to be up. It's suppose to die down very long ago.

Sigh. So basically I only slept like 1 and a half hours before I drag myself up to go town. I look horrible la. I just anyhow wear one top and a pair of jeans and I'm out of the house. Sigh. But I only went for the kbox session, after taht I went straight home. Slept on the MRT.

Someone help me get out of this mess?

Sam and me. Wearing off shoulders that day. But long sleeve leh, guys have difficulty touching my skin. =X

I look evil ROAR. Eh. KJ look even more evil. LOL.

Sam is in love with me. Hahaha. She mad lai de, but nevertheless I love her. hahaha. Kena force take picture with her. ROAR.

K, finale leh. LOL. MY HAIR IS MESSY. Sob. Result after dancing nonstop for 4 hours. zzz. Rest awhile go back still have to dance. ROAR. K, my eye bag cmi as well. T.T

Miss ya.

2007-02-21T22:07:00.000+08:00

I dun understand guys. Seriously. So hard to answer? IF U WANNA TALK TO ME. JUS TALK TO ME. NB. Do I look like a tiger to u? Roar.

It's just a question. You humji right. Dun regret if you dun do anything. I will just leave from you life and nv come back. If I ever do. Dun regret.

2007-02-21T19:02:00.000+08:00

Kinda tired though I sleep much last night.

Had a dream. Haha. I dreamt that I met up with my sisters and all. And guess wat. They know about HIM. I was rather shock coz I didn't tell my sisters anything about HIM. And then he told me that HE is asking for their handphone numbers and stuff. Was kinda shock. lol. Can say it's a nightmare. Coz I remember feeling empty and sad all of a sudden. Haha. Oh well.

Anyway, today suck. Suppose to pei my brother down to town, but I drag time and in the end he went out in anger himself. =X

Why I got this feeling that Jason is starting to hate me?

Sigh. Anyway. Wasn't in the right mood today. Wanted to talk but like watever i say will tio suan. Ya.

Just wanted to find someone whom I can talk to.

2007-02-21T03:49:00.000+08:00

Wo ai ni ni shi wo de ro mi ro, wo yuan yi bian cheng ni the zhu ying tai. Xin fu the mei yi tian. Lang man de mei yi ye. Mei li the ai qing zhu fu ze wei lai.~

Omg omg. Haha. Okie la, I start from yesterday. I went for a movie at night with Pipi, Lex, my brother, Daniel, Sam, Jason at cwp. Went to watch Ghost Rider. Actually wanna watch Norbit. But well, yesterday was super crowded. Ghost Rider 10pm also running out fast, we have to settle for 1st row seats leh. Somemore Ken and his friends came down also. Then we watch together lo. Ken a bit baichi la, dunno why keep wanting to meet me. zzz. Anyway, he got this ah beng feel surrounding him. opps. haha. We parted after the movie, lex, sam, and daniel ton my house for mahjong. I won 4 bucks overall. Not bad. Haha. They ton until like 12pm the next day. I was super shag entertaining them. But they are fun la.

Anyway, hope Sam feeling better these days.

Oh ya. I after they head home, I slept for 4 freaking hours before I woke up to bai nian at KJ's house. I LOST BIG MoNEY AT HER HOUSE. I was freaking winning money until her brother came in and I LOST BIG MONEY LO. I lost my 30 bucks I won at lex house that day. Super duper sad. T.T CRY. Aiya. But nvm la. Haha. Had fun, ate dinner at her house. Rotted.

After KJ's house we head town for ktv session. Daniel's birthday btw. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AH COW!! 22 years old le. Pls go find girlfriend. Hahaha.

Hmmm, we had a surprise for cow. Actually viv say she not coming de. But she informed me that she's coming down, asked me not to tell moo. And ya, she came ith a cake and we had fun. Today's Party World very fun la. I sang my blog's song, HOOOO~~. And a lot more. "Na Me Ai Ta" and "Jui Jing" by Li Sheng Jie is nice. My favourite. Oh ya. I sang "Ai Yao Ze Me Shou Chu Kou." LOL. Classic leh. But NICE TO SING CAN. Viv keep throwing oranges at Sam when she sing wrong note. Very funny. Oh yes, first tiem went ktv with Desmond. He can sing leh. ^^ Hmmm, today's session damn fun la. Haha. I had beer again. ROAR. Sucks la. But I still drink anyway. Haha

Well. I'm going clubbing tomorrow. WOOOOOOOOO. Hahaha. I am mad liao. I'm having fun. I wish I could share it with someone though. =) Anyone wanna join me MOS tml? Pls sms me. I WELCOME ALL LADIES AND GENTLEMAN TO DANCE WITH ME. Hahahahaa.

Hmmmm. Happy Chinese New Year Guys. Muacks. <3

2007-02-18T02:51:00.000+08:00

lol. Huat ar Huat ar. HAPPY PIG YR TO EVERYONE OUT THERE. MUACKS to ALL!

Weeee. I just came home from lex house. He super cute sia. We going his house but he didn't prepare went to bed instead. LOL. And he sleep super cute also. bth. Hmmm. Anyway, we play blackjack and unexpectedly I won 30 bucks home. I wasn't willing to play money de, but since everyone on then I buay on like very wat. So I play lo, and HUAT ar!! Keep winning money. Hahaha.

Hmmm, no plan currently. Tml probably go relative house and slack. Then come home got new fridge coming, our fridge cmi liao. Freezer the ice put 4 hours still water that kind. lol. So ya, tml will be staying at home until fridge come, not sure wat I wanna go after that. Probably play mahjong with my family, or go out watch movie with some people.

Wah lao. DATE ME OUT LEH. Sai la you guys. ROAR.

Hmmm, anyway, I MISS YOU I MISS YOU AND I MISS ONLY YOU! Muacks. hahaha. Return soon. Hugs. Oh yes, <3>

ME~~~~ (OH MY GOSH. My eye bag! *CRY*)

Oh ya, pls date me out for clubbing sessions. =D

Going off to bed. ^^ Til then, remember to miss me.

2007-02-17T23:38:00.000+08:00

Hahaha. I'm going out now. LOL. Countdown at Lex house ar. HUAT AR. Anything PLS SMS ME. I MISS YOU ALL. SOB.

2007-02-17T06:32:00.000+08:00

Couldn't sleep again. Another sleepless night. Sigh

2007-02-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

Hmmm. Went for some last min shopping today. Haha. 2 tops, a pair of shorts, and a pair of shoes. Lalala.

2007-02-15T18:22:00.000+08:00

Hey guys. Haha. Well, can't say I totally rotted at home on Vday. I decided to go catch a movie with Sam, Lex, Daniel, and Jason. We caught "Right by Law," a certain Jack Neo movie, kinda lame, feel that the switch body event is like so old school. But I must say Fann Wong acted really well in that movie. Haha. 5 stars for her though I dun really like her that much. Anyway, LEX IS LATE. Movie start at 7pm. He WOKE UP at 7PM! ROAR!!! I have to go out of the cinema to fetch him halfway through the movie. Si lex.

After the movie we wanted to catch ghost riders. But then, it's full house, so we decided to change plans. Muahahaha. We went cold storage and buy a small bottle of absolut vodka. Wanted to go some park and drink but ended up in lex house. One cup for me can make my face go red le. Anyway, we rotted at Lex house. REALLY LIKE CHALET SIA. My brother came down after his work too. Watched Huo Yuan Jia and Pirated of the Carribean. They played blackjack whole night, while I rotted in maple with Jerry and read comics and stuff. I fell a sleep for a while on Lex bed too. Jason is hilariously fun to bully. Hahahaha. And my brother and lex, omg, jokers of the day. You should see Lex give the "wat the fuck" sign. Hahahah.

Daniel left early for Chinatown. Hmmm. For some army event. I rotted until 10am before heading home to my own bed and sleep. Lalalala~

I'm soooooooo not looking forward to new year. I know many looking forward, especially those ang baos and stuff. But man. I just hope all these events pass by without a hassle.

Oh ya. Pls keep in touch everyone. WANNA DATE ME OUT JUST DATE. No scare. Not like I have a boyfriend to eat you up if you date me. zzzz.

Weeee. I'm jamming on Suikoden V on my Playstation 2. Aideos~

2007-02-14T02:20:00.000+08:00

lol. Not funny. Actually I expected this kind of shit to happen. But then, I didn't wanna care to much about shyt like this liao. Today seriously a lot of stuff happen sia. I guess it's eve of Vday. Everyone I know is emo about something. Those who aren't emo, weren't online. lol.

I dun hate vday. I used to enjoy vday every single yr in school, not with someone special, but with all my good friends out there. Haha. This yr, I not sure why I wanna stay at home and play my ps. Got people date me out. I still not sure if I should go with it or should I stay at home and rot. Afterall, going out means seeing all the bears, flowers and stuff. Haha.

I only recieve my 12 fav blue roses once in my entire life. Though it's withered already, I still appreciate the fact that my ex gave me blue roses. First in my entire life. After him there are best friends and sisters who gave me blue roses la. But I guess I'm hoping for a special guy to send me another bunch of roses. rofl. It'll nv happen this Vday of coz.

Anyway, a few asked me go kbox, another few ask me go their house play cards and mahjong, I'm seriously not sure whether I should stay at home and feel sorry for myself or not.

Frankly speaking, I'm feeling all better already. I can smile, I can laugh. Haha. But something is really missing and I seriously dunno wat. Need some self exploration.

Hey friends out there. I love you guys k? Always here for u. <3

To Metta, Angeline, KJ, Jess and Sam. Okie. It's been a while since I last blog you guys names but, do ask me out for dinner or watsoever. Know you guys are busy. But I miss you all k?

Amanda, YiChun, SuPing, graduating or graduated, pls contact me back again.

ANYONE GOT JOB LOBANG PLS TELL ME. DESPERATE.

Hahaha. To Viv, Pipi, Daniel, Lex, Sam, Ja, Pam, Vamp, Jerry, Ken, Elaine, and those who regard me as a friend in maple, love you guys to.

To Robin and YaoWei. GOING CLUB MUST TELL ME.

Lol. HAPPY VDAY GUYS. LOVE YOU ALL.

2007-02-12T08:42:00.000+08:00

LOL. I'm a happy girl today. Lalalala. K la, dun say pipi owe me 1.2m in game, now Ja own me 3m from just now sessions. My cards power sia. I did the almost impossible leh.

"Xiao San Yuan" I did it again. Hahaha. This is the second time I did. At Lex house. Power bo.

"Shi San Yao" People say this is almost impossible to do de. Must be super heng that kind. And somemore I zhi mo shi san yao. Plus 2 animals. I HUAT AR. LOL. They say, not auspious to do this kind of cards, but I open my cards is already like shi san yao, might as well give it a try. And I did it.

Nice right. Haha. Anyway, whole day at lex house like chalet like that, eat, drink, watch DVD also got. Slack. Omg. Super shiok la. We talk about a lot of stuff. No pipi, I think she also cannot wake up. In the end only ja, me, lex, viv, cai, sam, daniel. Oh yes, daniel's back. I got chocolates as present from him. Super nice to eat. Sam's kind enough to gave me one box of chicken essence. I'm gonan get better soon. Haha. As usual. I get well myself de. I rely on guys to take care of me I think I'm already dead le.

Just missing someone somehow. =)

K. Gotta go. NV SLEEP WHOLE OF YESTERDAY. ROAR

2007-02-10T06:33:00.000+08:00

LOL. I went out today. Hmmm. Even though I'm horribly broke. But staying at home alone thinking makes everything worse.

So, I head town, went to visit some friends, and went K box with the people I love.

Nothing much, sang pretty much songs today. Even though my throat isn't that good. I still try la. Like I say. Better then being at home thinking.

I didn't cry today. I guess that's an improvement.

Oh ya, I thinking of stopping maple too. Just get my equipments and stuff, and I'm out of there. Gotta go back work too. Wouldn't have the time. Suddenly feel like wanna chiong work. Keep myself busy. Probably I wouldn't think so much.

If Sam didn't remind me, I would have forgotten that Valentine's Day is around the corner. I nv let it affected me much. But dunno why this yr a bit... wrong. Haha.

I miss him much. But I'll get over it. I hope I can faster get over it. I hate myself now. I wanna be normal again. Wish every bit of this not true. Wish I'll wake up tomorrow and realise it's just a nightmare and see his sms in the morning. Haha. Ya. I WISH. rofl.

I'll work soon. I promise. Earn money, can pay my stuff, can work towards my dream. Yes.

2007-02-08T03:16:00.000+08:00

haha. Blogging is no good. Normally. I dun blog when my life is plain sailing. I only blog when I feel like there's no one I could turn to. Even though I'm chatting online, with friends, whoever, smiling, laughing, but I know deep down inside I'm not exactly happy.

A old best friend of mine msn me today. Told me that he's breaking up. Didn't tell me the reason, but I know it hurts a lot. Further more, his relationship is like 3 yrs already, and he decided to let her go just like that. Not that he dun love her anymore. Is that he love her too much to be selfish to hold on to her...

He told me to support his decision. I guess I would just cry with him. Coz I know how it felt letting someone go because it's better this way then to carry on. I guess time will heals.

Tonight is the second night knowing that he's no longer mine. It shouldn't be hurting so much. Why are my tears still flowing?

It's as though the breakup I had many years ago, the wound simply open so easily. The wound that took me yrs to heal.

I dun feel like going to sch. I dun feel like working. Its just one of the days where you wanna stay at home and feel sorry for urself. Wish things aren't real.

It's over easily. I should be prepared. But it's still like a bucket of cold water splash onto you. Reality. With everyone around me being couples, I wonder how I could survive Valentine's Day like this. But then again. I know I will have to.

2007-02-07T02:34:00.000+08:00

Many things have happened these few days. So many ups and downs. Been to places and experience different stuff.

I'm not sure if parting is a good thing. But I guess life still goes on without each other. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much I cry, I know it when it's impossible to be together. My heartaches, when I decided to make that decision. But I know that it's time. To face reality. That we both live in different worlds. I'm still crying each time I think about you, but time will heal I guess.

I'm graduating soon. It's almost seems like starting a new life. Working, wonder if there'll be time for my friends. I'm enjoying my freedom right now. But I know someday it'll end. I guess I wish it'll never end.

How I wish life could have been simple. How I wish I nv had fallen in love in the first place.

I'm not sure wat I wanna do now. Seems a bit lost. I dun feel like mapling anymore. I dun feel like going sch anymore. I just wanna rot somewhere and wait for death to take over.

Oh ya, did I mention I cut my hair? Haha.

<3 xAffinityx

2007-01-29T10:48:00.000+08:00

Omg. I sometimes dunno wat to say my mum. She stupidly bring my blanket to laundry, and now, everynight I no blanket to cover myself to sleep le. And I fell sick la. Neh neh. No replacement blanket, she gave me a towel to cover myself. Neh neh.

Sigh. These days quite a lot of things cock up. I just can't wait for my 2x exp card to be over and I'm more free le. T.T

Til then, take care.

2007-01-21T20:16:00.000+08:00

Hiya. lol. Sorry for the lack of updates. Just plain lazy to blog these days. Not sure why also. Probably because of the weather.

Hmmm, I saved 50 bucks so far. Really need to pay my handphone bill soon. But I promised my god brother to return him 50 bucks by the end of this month. Wat do you guys think? Should I return my god brother money or pay my bill? My bill if dun pay end of this month cancel le. Got warning liao. Hai.

Hmmm, yesterday was a mini celebration at Samantha's house. I didn't really do much, let jess curl my hair and get ready for clubbing at night. I got show hints that I'm rather broke, didn't really wanna club. But then, it's sam's birthday, and she really wanna go clubbing lo. Then I just went, which means I still owe phyllis money. sian leh.

A few songs rocks yesterday. It was only good at the end of the clubbing session. neh neh. And when the good songs come out the dance floor so crowded. zzz.

A few photos for u guys to enjoy.

Si sam. LOOK AT MY MAKEUP! I'm ruin! T.T

Birthday girl. Muacks. 21st birthday liao Sam. Love you lots.

Ah Jess and me. =D

2007-01-15T15:10:00.000+08:00

Okie. I'm blogging in school. Couldn't go home yet. Need to grap an assignment at mac lab. Right now someone is using the computer. So I have to wait for class to be over before I could take the file. T.T So bored. Can go home rush my other assignments de leh. zzzz.

Anyway, I'm so dead la. I skipped dunno how many times for Image class le. I very scared I tio debared over a stupid Image module. So dumb right. Sigh.

But then again. i got no motivation of graduating, it's like, gotta work after that. Means FULL TIME outside in working life. Dun wanna lose my freedom le. Very sad de leh.

Sigh. Sat had pipi, lex, and ja staying over for mahjong and daidee. Kinda funny. I fell asleep halfway while they are daideeing. Cannot make it la. 9.15 then sleep sia. They went home I directly coma on my bed. Didn't even have the energy to bath. zzz.

A lot of stuff happened recently. Dumb stuff really. Really dumb. Sigh. I think I shall not describe the story just in case it gets boring. But then again. Since when my blog is interesting de. lol. XD

I want to go home. T.T

2007-01-08T00:17:00.000+08:00

Random Quotes taken from http://xiaostar.com/

Piece of advice. Read them while listening to "First Love" by Ukita Hikaru

"Why do we love the ones that hurt us and hurt the ones that love us?"

"A man realised he wanted his love back. Not wanting to get hurt, the girl say "no." The man cried to God and asked, "If it's meant to be why did I lose her?" God says, "My child, you didn't lose her, you let her go..."

"A friend is someone who accepts your past, supports ur present, and encourage your future."

"It is not who you know the longest, it is who had never left you."

"it takes stengths to hide your pain. It takes courage to show them. It takes strength to survive, it takes courage to live."

"When the pain of holding on is greater then the pain of letting go, it's time to let it go."

"Everytime you say you love me, remember it's a sin to lie."

"You love the first person who touched your heart, and you never love anyone the same way again."

"Jealousy is a sign of true love."

"Are you missing wat you've never had?"

"Dun run when I push you away, coz it's when I needed you the most."

"If you're patient in one moment of anger, you'll escape a hundred days of sorrow."

"Follow your heart, you'll lose your mind. Follow you mind, you'll break your heart."

""I miss you when something good happens, coz you're the one I really wanna share it with. I miss you when something's troubling me, coz you're the one who understands me most."

"I will wait for you.. and will wait for no one but you"

"I'm sitting here, crying, feeling worse than ever, not because you hurt me, but because I hurt you"

"We may be done with the past, but that doesn't mean the past is done with us"

"Once my lover, now my friend, wat a cruel thing to pretend."

"In a relationship, there's always a problem, and deep inside it, there's always a solution"

"Love isn't gone just because you want to let go."

2007-01-07T23:04:00.000+08:00

Sianz. Just died in maple bo mood train liao. Sigh.

Anyway, news is that I pass my driving and I can drive on the road le. ^^ People to thank, my dearest ShanYun, who intro the driving instructor to me. Tony himself, and the examiner I had that day. And those who wished me luck and so on. I'm really very lucky that day. ^^

In fact, hell lot of luck I had that day. I made tons of mistakes, yet, I'm still able to pass. Nope, I didn't wear a skirt that day, neither did I wear anything low cut. lol. I think the fact that I look confident seriously helped a lot. And I didn't mount kerb like Robin did. =X So I didn't fail. Wahaha. So happy that day. Daniel sort of mini celebrated with me, Jason owe me Swenson, Pipi owe me something to eat, and I'm free from this burden on my shoulders. However, i still have a debt to pay. owe Daniel 250 bucks and 50 bucks from my God Brother. My stupid driving cost 180 that day and making the license itself need 50 bucks. My bank account is totally dry le. Feel rather sorry for myself, but then, it's a dream from young to get my driving liscense, and I'm very happy la. My 2006 resolution actually made it, though a bit too late.

Talking about new year resolutions, I not sure if I've made them yet, but no harm mentioning it now. Probably to get graduated and get a job that I enjoy doing. Soon. My resolution is to at least travel once with friends. lol. Not so hard, except the fact that I dun have the money la. lols. Any kind soul willing to pay for my travel expenses? rofl.

I'm feeling a bit stablise in my projects coz most of them are already done or on the verge of completion soon.

There's so much in life to achieve. Yet I'm only 20. Okie. Fine. I'm getting old, but time so pass very fast. It'll be 2010 before you know it. Wat about you? Seriously. Do you have a goal you wanna achieve? Life without goals is rather meaningless. Lol. I guess I wouldn't marry someone who doesn't really have a life long goal. Makes me feel insecure. Wat will my future be with a guy without goals? Haha.

Speaking of marriage, lols, I guess I've grown up quite a bit. I used to be very naive, following only my heart, nv my brain. My close friends know me too well. Haha. But I guess, now, I know that love isn't everything. I used to think, love can conquer all, but, it isn't always the case. I guess I've grown quite a bit since 2006. Nevertheless, it'll be nice if someone who know how to control the wild side of me and take care of me well comes along.

Looking at my friends love life now, how sweet it can become, knowing very well, I can taste that kind of sweetness again. I guess I've been through a lot of pain. But who knows, someone could let me taste the sweetness again. I guess the only thing to do now is look positive into the future. =D Never stop believing. =)

Wat is love anyway? lol. I can go on and on debating on this topic man.

Oh no. Emoing again. Wahahaha. No worries man, Wendy is still strong. =X lalalala

2007-01-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

lol. I know I blog a lot of times today. Just that I have many thoughts on my mind that I wish to share but no one's around to listen.

Dun ask me to zak these days to all my maple friends. 1st, I've already made it clear that I have 0 ramen in my inventory. Dun make me sad futher by reminding me that I bo ramen left. 2nd. I wanna hit 120 before I zak again. I owe people 10m and i'm really broke. I'm sorry kor and jie. I promised but I will do it after I have the money and ramen. I promise means I will de. Even if I get helm, I will help people get also de. Just wait ba.

k. end of my random speech. I love my brother. I love Yaowei and Robin. I love Metta. I love Viv and Lex. I love Desmond. I love Jess. Just naming some random people to love. =D

2007-01-04T22:18:00.000+08:00

WO HEN PA. MING TIAN LEH. WO DE TP MING TIAN. WO ZHEN DE HEN PA.

How! How!!!! I think tonight I cannot sleep lor!! Wat if I fail!? Sob. I think I fail I comfirm very sad de. 100% chop. Pls, pray everyone. Tml no traffic. No nothing. Sigh.

I tonight comfirm cannot sleep liao. Cry!

2007-01-04T13:33:00.000+08:00

K. I'm feeling bored already. I just presented one of my project. Frankly speaking, lols, I hope to get A. Wahahaa.

Room so cold, forgot to bring jacket again.

I'll be meeting Metta today. To take my project back. Sigh. Tonight need to start scanning stuff. T.T

K la. I go play chess liao. Friend jio. seeya.

2007-01-04T00:10:00.000+08:00

There's like so much to do. So many stuff to think of.

My driving these days like cannot make it. I cannot imagine if I fail la. If I fail i can just forget about facing anyone else. Sigh. Wat's wrong with me these days.

Updated Schedule on Projects

Portfolio : Demo Reel
Around 10 more pieces of work
Design and Art History : Research on Coca Cola. (More depth in research)
Sculpturing : Finish it up by dunno which deadline.
Audio and Visual Effects : Final Project Assignment. (Sigh)

Not sure if there's more projects piling up. Plus I have Fusion Show to think of. Where am I gonna get the money man. Sigh

Missing that someone. Gotta be stronger.

You know. Even if the projects are over. I'll still not enjoy life. Coz it means I've graduated. Which means I'll be at a lost again. Omg. Someone rewind my life.

2007-01-03T05:39:00.000+08:00

omg. Not only the fact that I couldn't sleep. The fact that when I was about to sleep I realised I have another assignment that I didn't know of appeared right in front of me. Thanks Ker. T.T Now I cannot sleep. And tml I have circit driving. I hope I dun piss my instructor off tomorrow. Sigh. Rushing my project now. Tomorrow date line le. Sigh.

2007-01-02T17:25:00.000+08:00

Old song. But then. Forever one of my favourites. To all the girls who had their heart broken. Cheers.

歌曲：倒带
歌手：蔡依林

我受够了等待,你所谓的安排
说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及
才知道我可爱
我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带
你给的全是空白
一个人假日发呆找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外
却一直都进不来
你累积给的伤害
我是真的很难释怀
终於看开爱回不来
而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开
哭著求我留下来
终於看开爱回不来
我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开
宁愿没出息求我别离开
你总是要我乖
慢慢计划将来
我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎黱交代
你该给的信赖
被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白
看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带
只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待
被你一次次摔坏
已经碎成太多块
要怎黱拼凑跟重来
终於看开爱回不来
而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开
哭著求我留下来
终於看开爱回不来
我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开
宁愿没出息求我别离开

2007-01-01T19:16:00.000+08:00

Happy New Yr guys. To my love ones and family and whosoever out there.

Haha. Actually feeling rather emotional everytime a year end. Been through quite a bit huh. 2006. Been through a relationship. Been through attachment. Been through quitting my job and relaxing my life right now. Falling in love again. Making tons of new friends. Rushing through projects and stuff like that. Drifting a bit away from my friends. All the tears, the laughter we shared. Just wanna say a huge thank you to you peeps in my life. Without you guys, there wouldn't be me I guess.

I'm turning 20 this yr. It's like, so scary. Haha. Graduation is near, I can smell it coming. And I can smell my unpredictable future coming. Wat I'm gonna do man. So lost. Kinda scary if you think about it.

I used to be so sure of my future. But now, I just realise I'm just nothing. Haha.

Anyway, a huge thank you to my family. Been through a lot of shit together but nevertheless, blood is still thicker then water. Appreciate that I still have a home to come home to and a bed to sleep every night.

A huge thank you to my sisters, namely Amanda, SuPing, YiChun. I know and I apologise for not spending enough time with you all. I miss you guys and I hope you guys know that. Hugs. Best wishes for the upcoming year ya?

A shout out to my Cathay friends. We've been through a lot too, though I'm like, torn away from that place, I'm still missing every single moment with you guys. Namely, Samantha, Jess, Metta, Angeline and KJ. Everyone's been busy lately. Just want you guys to know that somehow you guys are still part of my life. We can still hang out whenever you guys have the chance.

A shout out to my in game friends. Namely, Viv, Lex, Daniel, Pipi, Desmond, Jarick, and Gil. I had much fun with you guys, being able to play bball, mahjong, ktv, movies together like a normal bunch friends outside. I appreciate this bond we share, and I'm glad all these bring something outside of the game itself. Cheers.

I had fun on New Yr's Eve. A huge thank you to Daniel. Wasn't feeling good earlier in the afternoon. But met up with Daniel and we rotted at Jurong point. After that we went bowling a while with my brother and his friend. Then Dan drove my brother home, and he actually drove me to watch fireworks. I was very touched la. Coz he wanted to surprise me de. Wasn't feeling very good coz, every yr I always get to go out on Christmas eve and New Year's eve. This yr seems a bit, empty. Rather sad ar. Coz my outside friends seems to have their own programmes and stuff. I dun wanna spend my countdown at home. I wanna go out and see crowds. We managed to catch a glimsp of the fireworks. Haha. Coz trees are blocking the road side, but I was really happy. I didn't had much friends around me, only Daniel. But I guess, watching the fireworks really left me speechless. I really tot I'm gonna stay at home to countdown. But I didn't I get to watch fireworks. =D

Okie. My phone isn't a very good camera phone. BUT! I still managed to capture a new nice fireworks. =D Stupid tree blocking la. zzz. No choice.

Alright. Had mahjong through the night and I lost like 1.1m in game mesos la. Damn jialat liao la.

And oh, my 1 January 2007 didn't actually went through very smoothly. My driving practical was rather jialat today. I almost got into an accident. My instructor was pretty pissed off also. Rather sad la. Sigh. Then I went home to zak, I tot I can make it de, but who knows, b3 70% I didn't had any ramen left. Very sad. And I died of coz. 1k ramen gone. And I tot I could get helm de. Sigh. All didn't start well. I hope things will go better as times goes by.

Me here wishing you guys a bright and cheery yr ahead. (hopefully it applies to me as well. T.T)

2006-12-26T19:46:00.000+08:00

Haha. Happy belated Merry Christmas to all folks out there. ^^

Too bad I'm rather sick this christmas. hadn't been sleeping well and stuff like that. And Been going out and slacking a bit as well. It took me a long time to decide to start my project today. And I should la. I left another week before school reopens. Sian.

I had my own fun this Christmas. I did wat I always wanted to do, be Santa! Haha. I was actually hoping Daniel had his car, but he didn't so we had to travel by train. Super sad. T.T I originally didn't plan on buying anything for anyone de. I'm horribly broke. But Christmas I dun buy anything for anyone I feel like a bit funny. I gave out presents every yr leh, then this yr I nv give I feel very bad. >.<

So the day before Christmas, I decided to do last min shopping with Pipi. I had fun with her, she walked damn fast. One min she's here, another min she's like 2 metres away from me liao. And I just stop and look at something on display leh. Next min she's out of sight le. zzzz. But I had fun shopping with her. She shop very budget one. LOL. She see one wallet, 39 bucks, turn to me, asked, wanna buy for Ah gil? Before I could reply, her eyes spotted another wallet on 20% discount and say, let's buy that one instead. Super budget la, but it's okie for me, coz I'm pretty broke. Haha. Jarick's present the hardest to buy. Actually, in the first place, we didn't wanna buy for him coz he comfirm too busy to meet up, but I say just buy lo, buy for everyone nv buy for him weird de. Haha.

Pipi had to rush off for dinner, then I didn't have plans for the night. Decided to call ah cow to be my rudolph. XD I decided there and then on that spot at marina sq that I wanna become Santa today. Sounds exciting le. I decided to deliver all the presents me and Pipi bought to the people out there.

1st stop, ah moo. Haha. I met him at Tampiness MRT, pass him his present. He like it a lot, but too shy to use la. It's actually a very cute cow milk bottle. Very nice. I asked him to use as water bottle in public. LOL. It's very cute lo, I would buy for myself if I have the money.

2rd stop. ah viv. She's leaving SG for Bali. I managed to catch her at Tampiness before she fly off on Christmas Eve. She like her present! XD We gave her a very nice cigar holder. She fell in love with it la. lol.

3rd stop. Ah Gil. Met him at Tampiness as well. HE'S THE FIRST ONE TO GIVE ME CHRISTMAS PRESENT! Hahaha. And guess wat? It's MONOKO!! The soft toy I totally love at comics connection. THANKS AH GIL!! I totally love it!! Oh ya, we gave him the wallet. LOL. The one on sale de. Wahaha. But he liked it. And it's nice. XD

4th stop. Was Metta. Didn't plan on buying much presents, since, I know some people like dun really appreciate. This yr I clever le. I buy for people who appreciate nia. lol. Metta!! I'm sorry!!! I last min shopping, ran out of ideas!! Wat I buy you this yr is something like what I bought you last yr! LOL. I think she open she's gonna kill me la. But I guess she dun really mind coz it's the thought that counts. ^^ Doremon still rocks right? wahahah.

5th stop was ah des. He was working, so ke lian. Drop by and wished him Merry Christmas. I think it brightens up his day lo. lol. We bought him slippers. Kao. Ex leh. and I have to call him to ask his shoe size. -.-

6th, 7th was my brother and ah Lex. Haha. We drop by lex place to play mahjong and spend the night there. Lex wasn't feeling too good this Christmas (so am I actually) so we decided to go his house and pei him. We had fun. Keep laughing sia. I won again of coz. ^^ So happy. Ordered mac, talk about stuff. After majong they had poker, and I decided to sleep a while. Very tired. By the time I went home is already 10am in the morning. lol.

Didn't visit Jarick as he's busy that day. I think I'm gonna use his present la. lol. hmmm.

This Christmas, wasn't feeling very happy, but I'm glad that I have something to do this Christmas. The people I celebrated with this yr was different from last yr. But, I guess it's good to have changes sometimes. I wonder who I will celebrate Christmas with next yr. lol.

Merry Christmas to all. Sweet wishes to everyone out there. ^^

2006-12-22T04:41:00.000+08:00

lol. I tried my first Chivas today. Thanks to Ah Nic. lol. K i know I mountain tortise nv try chivas before. But after the Chivas and some tiger beer, my skin started to itch again. Think a bit too much again today. Haha. But I nv vomited or wat. I still can walk a straight line.

Went to this KTV pub. Drink, poker, and KTV. There's this guy who sang damn well. Super like Jacky Cheung voice can. I almost tot the analog was on. But it was the guy singing la. Anyway. had fun. I watched Eragon today too. Not a bad movie. Thanks Daniel. =)

2006-12-21T14:14:00.000+08:00

I very sian, coming back to a family whose parents doesn't approved of wat my dreams and my actions are. I dun like it. They are pushing me too far, controlling me and handling me until I couldn't breathe. I couldn't wait to hit 21 fast. I just wanna move out and chill outside. My heart can take it no more. About their cristism and glares each night. About the fact that they dun even trust their own daughter.

I'm the kind of person when u force me to do something, I wouldn't wanna do it. The more you push me, the more I wouldn't wanna do it. If I ever gave it, I would say it's a huge sacrifice to me. I treasure my diginty. Not coz I'm proud or watever shit. Coz I think I deserve respect from everyone. Like how I respected them.

I couldn't breathe. I just wanna be free. I'm 19. But I'm being controlled like I'm 15 or 16. Why. It's not like I haven't worked before in my entire life. I know wat's reality of the world. I know wat's right and wat's wrong. Why can't they understand?

2006-12-21T00:45:00.000+08:00

Hiyee. Back from town. ^^

Went out with the bunch of DET students. Hmmm, I had fun with YaoWei and Robin. Basically we went to watch a movie, Night at the Museum. It wasn't very impressive, but I must say that it's hilarious. There was a lot of funny parts and I enjoyed the movie overall. After movie, I head off to pool with YaoWei and Robin. I didn't play, just sat there and talk cock with them. Catch up, update each other stuff. It's nice to have a chat like that, where I updated them and they updated me on their stuff, share different opinions and ideas on certain issues. I dun like it when I'm the only one talking. I guess that's why I click with guys better then girls. Girls just wanna kpo, guys, well, their advice are probably more useful somehow. =D After they play pool, we felt kinda hungry, wanted to have long john but it was closed already. Had mac instead. =( I miss long john's fries. =D Anyway, reached home at about 12.30. =) And here I am blogging.

Tomorrow movie marathon, plus I should be hanging out with Viv and Nic after movie tml for a few drinks. Viv jio me today, but I told my mum I'll be home after movie, so I told her tml instead. Hmmm. Was kinda surprised that Viv asked me out. But I guess it's a good sign? Anyway, I decided to MIA for a while. No point getting hurt and sad over stuff that you care so much. Probably brought a lot of unhappiness to my surrounding peeps. So ya, I guess MIAing is a good choice for a while.

I need to start on my projects soon. Sigh.

I tot of something yesterday. If something hurts you so much, means you truely care about that thing. Hmmm.

2006-12-20T02:04:00.000+08:00

It's been raining whole day. And I'm shivering in my room wishing that spring would just appear tomorrow. Start a brand new year, a brand new start.

Did I mention I'm running a fever? Slight one though. Probably coz I was drench several times this week liao. It's like I'm feeling so cold, yet my head is hot. Dun think I wanna tell my parents. Later they nag at me again.

Couldn't sleep, so decided to switch on my computer again to blog. My heart is feeling heavy. Feel like I wanna cry yet I have no one to turn to. Haha. A moment of weakness.

lol. But then again, I always cried alone, didn't I? *smiles*

Dun you sometimes wish that you are being knocked down by a car, yet still survives but forgotten everything?

Or maybe you wish to get drunk and just cry everything out with someone beside you?

Something hurts me so much inside that I just cannot figure out wat it is. Maybe I shouldn't have started. Maybe I made the mistake again. I dunno wat I'm waiting for. I'm probably just running away again. Like I've always do.

If you're out there to hurt me. Pls dun. Just leave me alone. Go away.

Sometimes, caring too much is pointless coz you'll end up hurting urself even more. I had this experience so many times. Yet, I'm still doing it. Haha. I think I'm really stupid la. I wouldn't learn my lesson one.

Serious. Maybe it's time for me to leave.

2006-12-17T19:03:00.000+08:00

I'm happy you've moved on without me. You deserve someone who loves you move then I do. hugs. Take care Jon

2006-12-17T15:17:00.000+08:00

I'm rather disappointed and sad today.

I smile or I laugh today is fake de.

2006-12-16T22:42:00.001+08:00

happy birthday to my dearest brother! Though he's irritating sometimes, and nv fail to bully me, I still love him all the same. Hope watever he wished for comes true.

I had fun today!! Haha. I never expected myself to have fun during the holidays, (projects projects projects) but today was really an exception la. I suppose to meet Pipi to go chocolate factory one, but I couldn't wake up due to the fact that I went zak until 6am in the morning, and I switch my phone to silent mode and off my vibration. When I woke up I had 36 miss calls. LOL. And Daniel very jian la. He called my mum's HP and wake me up leh. Kao. He still kept my mum's number sia. Anyway, met them at Mac, talk a while, before we head off to a bball court.

Yes! I finally get to play bball. With Ah lex, Ah Daniel and Ah Pipi. I had fun, though I got tired easily. Expected de la, it's been a while since I train my stamina. I seriously miss playing netball in secondary school. Sigh.

Went lex house and bath, no shirt to wear so I borrowed one of his shirt lo. Slack around, play mahjong. My luck was damn good today la. My cards, all very nice ones leh. I almost couldn't believe it lo. I dunno how to describe it, but the whole mahjong session was ultimately fun, joke and laugh a lor. I pity lex la, he lost all his money until he have to top up another 150k from the base we started. And his face throughout the game, very funny. LOL. Pipi fierce, will slam the tiles on the table one. Hahaha.

I WANNA PLAY MAHJONG AGAIN!! lol.

2006-12-16T05:53:00.000+08:00

Things to do during the holidays.

- watch movies. Tons and tons of them
- tanning (sunday) =D
- clubbing (pls... *watery eyes*)
- get my zak helm by zaking every single night. (I wish. -.-)

Reality check

- Audio Visual - Assignment 3 - Lightings
Final Project - Modelling
- Games Lvl Design - Card Game
- Design & Art History - Research on Coca Cola (done!!)
- Sculpturing - Armenture and a bit of modelling
- Portfolio - Website (done!!)
- Demo reel
- 20 pieces of art work
- Namecard design (done!!)

Sigh. It's the holidays. My last holidays in NYP. Yet. I HAVE TO STRUGGLE to enjoy them. Sigh. Not to mention, my practicals and my TP coming soon. ROAR. T.T Someone just hug me and tell me it's not the end of the world can?

2006-12-14T11:20:00.000+08:00

Dratini's class again. XD

I'm quite looking forward to the holidays actually. Robin suggested a movie marathon on the 21 December. I'm on. It's been a long time since I quit Cathay. I remember our record was 4 movies in a row. Until morning 5.50am we stop watching movies and rotted outside cine before taking a cab home. Haha. Those were the times. =)

Anyone wanna join us? Think YaoWei going too.

Later run home chiong rendering again. Damn sian.

I looking forward to suntan this sunday. Hope I wouldn't be let down ba. And I wanna go clubbing. Roar.

Blog again another time. ^^

2006-12-11T17:44:00.001+08:00

Projects to Cover.

- Game Card Concept (Games Level Design)
- Portfolio
- Interior Lightings (Visual and Audio Effects)
- Final Project (Vicual and Audio Effects)
- Drawings (Sculpturing)

Roar. I. am. stress. Sob.

2006-12-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

As usual, every year when christmas approaches, this song willbe uploaded in my blog. Dun ask me why. It just gives me the mood for this season. However, this season is a little sad. I nv felt this sort of saddess during christmas before. Normally I love christmas. Probably coz, I know things will be different this yr. I'm no longer celebrating christmas at that place. The place that I miss so much.

Why ain't I going back? I'm afraid of changes, probably. I'm afraid that my life will take another turnabout. Back to my workaholic self. No more freedom. Etc. I guess that's what makes me hesitate. But I know deep down, it's wat I wanna do. I gotta face it sooner or later. Next yr ba. =)

Artist: Mariah Carey Lyrics
Song: All I Want For Christmas Is You Lyrics

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas
Is you...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You...

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You

All I want for Christmas is you baby
[repeat]

2006-12-10T17:43:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! I SPEND 4 HOURS ON MY DIGITAL PAINTING TODAY AND IT'S ALMOST FINISHING CAN! AND PHOTOSHOP JUST CRASHES ON ME! CRY.

4 freaking house on the portrait leh, and it crashes! I wanna cry la!! REALLY LO. T.T Now I cannot even put my digital painting into my portfolio la. I SO MUCH WANTED TO CAN.

2006-12-08T22:20:00.000+08:00

Kao eh. WHole day project. Damn stress. Only can play game at night. ROAR.

Hmmm, missing someone.

ROAR. I'M BORED. I HATE PROJECTS.

2006-12-07T20:47:00.000+08:00

lol. Another random post. XD

Met up with Ah des and Ah pipi just now. Ah des failed his basic theory again la. OMG LO. He failed 5 times in a row liao leh. I buay tahan liao la. Also dunno how to help him this time round. zzzz.

Ah des send me home today. lol. It's been a while since he last send me home. Hmmm. I forgot to mention Ah lex send me home once too. ^^

I wanna go suntan. ROAR. Si Metta not free pei me. Sigh. I'm sure Amanda also not free de. I WANNA SUNTAN! My tan is dying off le. I need my tan back. CRY.

I wanna play bball. Find one day ask ah lex pei me.

I WANNA GO SHOPPING. SOB. I SAW A LOT OF NICE SHOES TODAY BUT I CANNOT BUY.

very xin ku. Cry.

2006-12-07T11:27:00.000+08:00

Now is like 11.30am. Class is suppose to start 30 mins ago. But Dratini hasn't set up his stuff la. So I'm rather bored right now. Decided to blog some crap before lesson start.

So sleepy. Nope, I haven't found a job yet. Still wondering how to survive la. Christmas is coming, dun even have the money to celebrate christmas. Went Orchard yesterday night, saw the christmas lights felt a bit of heaviness in my heart. Last christmas, I was still at Cathay. It was fun. I wonder how this yr's christmas will be like.

I miss my netball trainings. I miss working in Cathay. I miss my secondary school life. ROAR.

Omg, Dratini playing resident evil 2 in class. Something about ambrient shit. Sigh. Lecture class so cold. Everytime forgot to bring jacket.

I got a lot of stuff to do this weekend. Quite a lot of shit to rush, not sure if I got time for my game. Sian.

Sorry for this crap entry. lol. I just not sure wat to blog about these days. Life seems so meaningless.

All I want for Christmas is you~

2006-12-05T14:58:00.000+08:00

I need a job. Fast.

Today no mood to drive sia. Made thousands of mistakes. But you know wat, I seriously nv thought of giving up. I just wanna pass my TP on the 5th of Jan. 1 more month from now. I MUST PASS. I dun wanna waste anymore MONEY on my driving le. Period.

I thinking whether I should go my brother's place to work. But there comfirm very dangerous de. Just thinking, wondering, sigh.

Sure I do enjoy my freedom. I mean, ever since I left secondary school I've been working non stop. It's nice to be jobless for a while. I love my freedom, but then,when the money runs dry, I guess it's time to give up my freedom.

Meaning, no time for friends, for whoever and ever, etc.

Sad.

I still have my HP bills to pay. It's kinda worrying me.

Sigh. So screwed

2006-12-04T10:30:00.000+08:00

Secretly blogging right now. Super sian. Sorry for not blogging regularly these days too. Too tired. A lot of sutff had been happening, just didn't update it here. omg. Instead of updating I wish I can meet my friends soon la. Any1 can just date me out ma. T.TI'm busy but not that busy ma. Ask me out I not tired or wat I sure steady de. T.T

I'm sort of in trouble right now. My savings is down to 300 bucks. And I still have 8 to 10 driving lessons to go. And my hp bill for this month cozts 209 bucks. I feel so dead la. Okie. Correction. I'm seriously dead. zzzz. I need to work soon. But I'm rather worried about my sch stuff lo. Afraid I not much time to do my projects and stuff. Sigh. But no choice ba. This christmas so broke la, how to buy christmas present anymore? I'm so dead lo. Both brothers birthday this month, I also no money buy. Mum's birthday next month, I'M JUST SO DEAD LA. Daniel decided to lend me 200 without my consant. He knows I hate to borrow money de, but he knows I need it and I will return ba. I told him I find job first then borrow, coz, I not working, I hard to return the money le. But I really appreciate that he's willing to lend me his savings lo. Then he also looking out for jobs for me too. Sigh. Anyone wanna support me ma. T.T

"HELLO ANTHONY HERE !!!! AHAHAHAHHAHAHA"

OMG. My friend just come over and type that stupid sentence there la. Super lame can. zzzz.

Went out yesterday. Was really late for the movie "Open Season" and the movie ended in a flash la. The movie isn't fantastic. Sigh. After that we walked around Marina Square, I tired not to see too much of stuff, just in case I see something I want then I feel sad I cannot buy. =C

We had a "King" tagging along yesterday. "King" refers to MJ, Viv's cousin. He's rather cute actually, just that I'm kid shy and he's also shy, so we didn't really click that well. Except the part where he's at the arcade and we decided to play Bishi Bashi. LOL. He's cute la, he keep losing, and he like not happy that I keep winning him in the games. Ah Moo too. Keep losing but he wanted to complete the game with us, so he keep spamming his coins at that machine. Me and Pipi own la. Even my brother lost. Wahahaha. And the machine like give us hit until spoil. Coz the screen was flicking after a few times we hit the machine. Well. It's call "Bishi Bashi" wat. We are suppose to bish and bash the machie, right? =X

And the whole lot of us played Daytona. As usual I choose auto coz I noob, while the rest of them choose manual. The first game I almost got first can. ALMOST!! ROAR!!! It was until I lost my speed at the last turn. WHY!!! OMG!! Then Pipi and my brother caught up when they drift forward, I landed up third in place. Second game, I started off bad la. But I still landed up 2nd in place. Lalalala!

Bowling was next, I WAS WEARING SKIRT FOR GOODNESS SAKE. ROAR. And they still forced me to bowl. T.T Me and ah lex got the same score. ROAR. So sad. T.T I was leading one le. In the end Moo top us all, not bad for a noob. We're all noobs yesterday. XD

I had fun yesterday. Didn't fight much with dear yesterday too. Yesterday was peaceful. ^^

I'M GONNA GET ZAK HELM TONIGHT. ROAR.

Pray for me. T.T

2006-11-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

I dunno why I'm feeling this way. There's so much things I wanna say. But it seems like I can't really put myself into words. Seems like I didn't overcome my own barrier after all. Haha. I open my mouth, nothing comes out. I tried to speak. Nothing comes out either. No sound. Not a word.

I watched Happy Feet today, it's a nice show. Hilarious really. Ah lex was sleeping beside me peacefully, and was shaken awake when I suddenly burst out laughing during the movie. lol. I love the song. Really nice. =)

Whole day heart was kinda aching. Something just pains me so much. I hope I'll get over it soon. Soon.

Oh well, this week a lot of things to rush. Hopefully I'll be fine. Yup. I'll be strong. I hope.

2006-11-25T15:26:00.000+08:00

The girls. =D

NYP group. LOL.

HuiTing~

Wahaha. I'm the angel from above. LOL. Eh, dun puke le. lol

Cynthia

My idea de. =D Taking photo with the mirror. Wahahaha.

Me and Birthday girl . Muacks! Happy birthday Jess! Love you so much!

2006-11-25T15:10:00.000+08:00

Some maple wedding photos. ^^

Me and my guild members. =D

My bride friends.

Me, lao gong and Eve. lol. Yup. Neydar is Eve. Wahaha

Me and Lao gong friends.

2006-11-25T05:00:00.000+08:00

Morning ladies and gentlemen. Decided to give a blog entry before I sleep. Since it's been a while.

Been a bit happening also, dunno where I should start I guess.

I bought my wacom already. It's been good so far. A bit heart pain when I swipe my card and having my account 279 bucks less. Though it's my dad's money, but then, I still do feel the pain lol.

I love my Wacome Graphire 4. MUACKS! Suddenly got motivation to do stuff le. Wahaha.

Anyway. Money issues been on my mind lately. Maybe I should get the ice cream job soon. LOL. Jess! Recommand le. Can no need interview go in ma. =D

And oh, that day I bought my wacom, I went Cathay to watch Material Girls. Not much of a story line, but they have gorgerous shoes and gowns that I would die to wear. lol. And Hilary look so good. Better then ever. Oh yes, watched the movie with Ah Des, my brother, and Ah Pipi. =D Thanks guys. I love pipi lots. ^^

Anyway, I went clubbing recently too. Didn't really gt very high coz we weren't allowed in Gothem, no free drinks = no high. AWWWW!! CRY!!! SOB!! But it's okie. I get to see a cute guy, Jess de friend. Just find him cute la. lol. AND MY DJ TANG!! OMG!!! My husband!! I MISS HIM SO MUCH LA. My husband cute right?! ROAR! lol.

lol. Saw Jess drank Waterfall that day. So shiok sia, and she still okie after drinking it le. I think if me, I cmi liao. I had fun with the girls, I dance until my legs so tired. AND WE TOOK PHOTOS!! At our all time favourite place. The ladies. ^^ lalala~

A lot of things have been happening around me. Like my maple wedding. Can say it's a bang. You should have seen. It was fun. lol. And guild a lot of happenings. Sigh. Really like a lot of stuff happening. Seems like I know everything yet there's no one to share it to.

Have another outing. Ah Des, Ah Pipi, Ah Moo, Ah Gil, Ah Cai, Ah Viv, Ah Lex. And of coz. Me. HAPPY FEET!! Lalala. Finally get to watch it man.

I got craving for ice cream. It's like, a banana split image just pop up in my mind. lol.

Til then. Muacks!

2006-11-20T02:32:00.000+08:00

I finally get to see how Vivo City looks like. Thanks to Ah Cow, Ah Viv, Ah Gil, Ah Cai, Ah PiPi and Ah Lex who pei me go Vivo watch 007. The movie wasn't so bad, and the place crowded like hell la. LOL. The cinema very big also. Not bad, I think I'll love the place ther if it wasn't so crowded.

After movie, we went Party World. Had a tiring day. Nevertheless, I had fun, though a bit quiet, coz I tired ma.

I ate a lot. =.= The snacks at Party World no one wanna eat, dun waste, so I eat lor. The fruits also. T.T The stupid gang keep making fun of me de. Damn sad la. lol.

Very tired. When I come home someone didn't welcome me with open arms. A bit disappointed.

I love my new phone. Ty everyone. My N71 my brother wants it. Selling him at a price of 400.

Dad gave me money to go buy my Wacom le. Feel bad le. Sigh. But it means I have to go down Cityhall AGAIN to get my stuff. Anyone wanna accompany me tml?

K la. I go sleep le. Tuesday start driving again. Feel a bit nervous la. Coz like 1 month or 2 nv drive le. Hope nothing goes wrong.

You know wat? The person who made you sad, can make you happy again. So true right? The person got the power to make you happy, can also make you sad. Scary.

Muacks guys. I'm doing better these days. Thanks for everyone's concern.

Date me out too. It's been a while since I last catch up with my sisters and cathay troop. Been hanging out with guild members too much. Haha.

I love my friends. I love my parents. I love Jarick. I love my sisters. I love every single soul out there. Muacks. A big hug to everyone.

Btw, Ah Chun ar, I nv blame you. No need say sorry to me. I just du lan that day I go home with nothing and I'm so tired la. lol.

Til the next entry. Take care guys!

2006-11-16T21:18:00.000+08:00

...

I reached home today feeling tired, depressed, and rotten.

I didn't catch a movie just now, by the time we had our lunch at KFC no more time la. So we rotted around amk. Really rotted.

So basically I travelled from yck, to amk, back to yck again, coz I followed them back to sch for lecture. I plan to skip though, no point going coz I got no tutorial later.

Met up with Chun to go SimLim, alighted at bugis, and we walked, and we walked, and we walked.

We both got lost la.

How lame right. I everytime go to sim lim with someone who knows the way la. Today me and Chun dunno how to walk then we lost lor.

Stopped by KuanYin Mao to pray. I got a bad lot. Wat the charm say is so true la, these days I'm down on my luck, watever I do will be quite jia lat.

Nvm, didn't tot much of it.

Anyway, upon reaching SimLim finally, we walked like about 10 shops to find my wacom la. Found 2 shops that sell 288 bucks. I decided to go Funan mall to check the price there coz I heard there cheaper la.

Walk back to bugis MRT station.

Sit train to Cityhall, walk to Funan Mall.

By then, my legs are already breaking liao. Trust me.

I found a wacom that cost 279 bucks. Suddenly, I just couldn't bring myself to buy it la. It's not like I dun have the money. It's just that, I bu she de spend the money. Really bu she de. But I want that fucking wacom so badly la. I wanted it since dunno when lo.

I went to Swenson had my dinner, and I called my mum, ask for advice. And guess wat.

After all the walking, and sometimes walking in the rain, I decided to go back empty handed.

And I'm very pissed. I dun like the feeling going home empty handed when I really wanna buy. But I bu she de buy.

I'm just fucking pissed that I wasted my time when I actually can go home and do my project. Now I'm just too fucking tired to do now la.

Some people just care too much about their own feelings to care about mine can?

And you're not there when I needed you to.

Came home, my mum told my dad about the wacom I wanted to buy. My dad say wanna take money from my step sis. I dun want. I dun really wanna take much money from my parents. They should spend their money on their ownselves.

I just feel like I wanna die la.

So much to do, yet, I dun have the motivation to do anything. So tired.

Oh ya, I sat a cab back. From Funan ITE Mall, to Woodlands. cost a bloody fee of 22 bucks.

I didn't get my wacom, but I spend so much la.

You know wat? I hate it when all I blog these days are so depressing. It's not like I want it. But right now, right at this moment, life just suck so badly that... that I felt like no one can listen to me cry.

I want a hug. Please tell me everything is gonna be fine la.

NOTE: I dun really know wat I'm writting now la, please just ignore me. I'm just simply in a bad mood without anyone to cheer me up.

2006-11-16T11:57:00.000+08:00

So much stuff to do.

My assignment die liao la. Yesterday night too tired to get much touch ups done.

Sigh.

Things to be done:

Finish up my driving lessons. If I not wrong I still have 500 bucks worth of lessons to go. Gambatte.
Get a wacom asap. Cost 200 bucks. Planning to get the graphic tablet instead of the intrus.
Get a new handphone. Time to get rid of my damn n71. I think about my phone now I no mood lor. Any one wanna buy me new hp on Christmas?
I just change my hard disk cover, very sad.

Altogether I need to spam money. I very sad. Any rich man wanna take me in and support me ma? LOL.

Projects to be done

Texturing for Audio Effects
To be continued.

Watching movie with friends. Bye!

2006-11-16T04:38:00.000+08:00

Wat am I blogging so late at night?

Coz.

I FORGOTTEN TML GOT ONE ASSIGNMENT HAVE TO HAND IN!!

I totally forgotten to touch up. OMG. Need to touch up now lor. Sigh. I so much wanted my bed lor. Cry.

Anyway, today quite a lot of stuff happen. Wanted to share with people de, but I guess no time only can blog about it.

Vamp got this colleuge, who secretly got my hp number while Vamp was charging his phone, and call me. I was like who the hell it was la. Say wanna make friends and stuff. One thing for sure, I know it's malay. The way he talk, like malay. First thing I tot of is Vamp, so after we put down the phone, I sms Vamp say issit her call trying to joke or not. Vamp called me, I hear his voice, different le. I ps, then I put down the phone la. He message me back tell me that it's his work friend, and how he got my number. SO sick can. That person got a wife with 5 kids still womanise outside. Please la. Dun make me feel so cheap can. I'm not someone who give people one night stand la. Got 5 kids, 45 years old, still wanna make friend with me. I hope next life he born as a ant so I can crush him easily. Make me feel so disgusted can. I wasn't angry with Vamp la, just that, ask him to be careful with his phone. WTF LA.

Another gross thing happen. I went to buy a new hard disk casing coz mine like cannot make it liao. That guy in the store keep flirting with me with is super gross can. Keep telling his work mates that I am pretty. PLEASE. I'm here for the hard disk not for u to comment on me la. But not so bad he say I pretty so give me discount. The hard disk casing I bought for 15 bucks la. LOL.

I hang out with YiChun today. Had fun. Updated her stuff. Ya. I miss Amanda. Sigh. SuPing too.

And of coz my beloved Jess and Metta.

Sigh.

K la. Enough liao. I go rush my project. CRY.

Oh ya, I cried 2 times today la. One was when Ah Lex say I want my dear dun want my friends, I super sad la. I both also want. Can ma. Sigh. Then he tell me he just kidding. WTH. Second time was I scared until cry la. That one damn bo liao. Sian. Somemore I cry for nothing. Crap.

if the person doesn't love you the way you want her to, doesn't mean that she dun love you at all. She just love you in another way. Sigh.

2006-11-13T19:28:00.000+08:00

Ahoy to my friends! Hahaha.

Before I start on wat happen during my weekends, I just wanna blog something that's on my mind now. Sometimes I just wish that you can be more striaghtforward la. It's not like I'm gonna hate you for wat you gonna say. I rather you just say wat you wanna say, regardless it's important or not, then to hide and I spend the whole time guessing wat are you thinking. It's not funny. It's not like I'm not gonna care what you're gonna say. Right now is your exams, as much as I wanna take the exams for you, I couldn't, I just hope that this week pasts as fast as possible so that you can have your holidays. I dunno wat to do so I could help you, if I'm such a bother, making you upset all the time, maybe I'm just not the one for you ba. As your dear, I wasn't really happy to see u being with me and feel so upset, makes me feel like .. very lousy la. If you aren't happy, just tell me, at least I know wat's wrong.

Enough about that.

Anyway, yesterday we had a 1 night chalet at Costa Sands with my friends in game, and we seriously had fun la. One thing about us all are that we're considered mature players, and we are really out to have fun. It's more like a crash party. lol. Enought about the details on wat we're doing, basically we played mahjong, poker, indian poker, and stuff like that. Omg lo, indian poker is scary. They stuff me with chicken wings and hotdogs. And it was hilarious la, the way my brother and viv kena. LOL. Viv got diamond ace, then when she decided to change her cards, she got the flower ace so comfirm she kena one lo. But everyone very good le, gave her eat mashmellows. Kao. When I kena they sabo me with chicken wing le!! The whole plate of chicken wing!! And the second time, they sabo with OTAH. OMG. These 2 food I hated most one they spam so much on the plate for me. ARGH. I feel fat at the end of the day. Anyway, Viv drank a bit, I didn't drink partly coz I dun like beer, and partly coz I cannot drink too much or someone will angry la. zzz. After that, we kinda play mahjong through out the night, I lost about 100k like that, need to give viv. LOL. If not she come find me ingame and throw pig head. wahaha.

Conclusion yesterday? I find Gil really lame. OMG. He's sooooooooo lame can. There's once I say "Thanks" and he could tell me tangs in orchard road. OMG!! Any oh, today's Desmond's birthday! Happy birthday!! Yesterday we surprised him with cake le!! =D And his cake is like a forest fire. Hahahaah. We insisted putting 25 candles instead of 2 big and 5 small candles. It really look like a forest fire. LOL.

HAHAHA. Really like forest fire lo. Omg. So funny. Hahaha. Hmmm, Lex was rather quiet, but he crap a lot when my brother crap with him. LOL.

Alright, I had fun. Looking forward to more outings. =D

2006-11-11T18:18:00.000+08:00

2006-11-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

Omg. I just have to start on my assignments la. But I seriously have no drive for it lo. Somebody help me!

Alright, basically, things are amazingly perking up these days. I'm sorry to those who has been reading my blog, Actually got quite a number of things to update, but then, seriously no mood ar. Things have been down ever since I quit my job and my hp incident. I lost some money at Bods, my hp is still not okie, really very fed up with it, school has been stressed lately as well, and I'm lacking sleep every single night la. Can the holidays just come or not?

Stupid KerHisen also having problem with his guild shop account la. Those passwords he gave me all wrong de, now the previous guild owe gupi ramen and money lo, seriously need to get my red whip too, now red whip cost a bomb, and I need money in maple la. Then I keep asking password from him like very paiseh lo. Not like I want that account la, but a lot of stuff there de lo. zzz.

I went bunk on Tuesday la. Was fun though I used up 7 safety charms there. I mean, I get to meet up with Ah Gil and Ah Viv. It's nice to be real life friends instead of everything also maple de. Please la, for those who wanna comment again, my life isn't all about maple, I still having bbq on Sunday with my guild members, just a few of them, but hanging out having fun is the most important thing la. Anyway, like I said bunk was fun, hope get to meet up with them more often coz they are fun and sincere people.

School is also getting better for me. Maybe coz my expectations for my friends in sch has lowered down, I'm just hanging out with them when we can lo. Cannot also nvm, buay steady, also nvm, coz I guess I still have other friends outside. Maybe we're just too different ba. Ya. But dun misunderstand me, it's acutally better this way that I dun expect much, coz I feel happier ar. Wouldn't be disappointed so many times mah. Ya.

Sunday we're going escape le!! During the chalet. Wahahaha. I first time there, hope can have fun la. Okie I know I mountain tortise, I 19 le nv go escape before cannot believe right. No one pei me ma, all say very boring, =.= Hope Sunday can have fun with Viv they all la. =D

You know wat? I just wanna finish up all of my projects NOW and enjoy myself la. Now enjoy keep thinking about my projects very sian one. K ba, I go do le, if not I forever cannot finish.

2006-11-09T19:22:00.000+08:00

PEOPLE WHO ARE BORN IN APRIL:

Active and dynamic. (=D)
Decisive and haste but tends to regret. (False le. I hardly regret my decisions.)
Attractive and affectionate to oneself. (I ONLY LOVE MYSELF. LOL)
Strong mentality. (I'm pretty determined)
Loves attention. (eh, not really. I like my friends' attention nia. =D)
Diplomatic. (erm.. meaning?)
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. (Oh yea!)
Brave and fearless. (I scared of cockroaches de. =.=)
Adventurous. (Erm, not really too)
Loving and caring. (I care. But I forgotten how to love. =D)
Suave and generous. (Wat'suave? But I'm generous. Wahaha)
Emotional. (Very)
Aggressive. (I just speak wat's on my mind. Wrong meh. ROAR)
Hasty. (Ya, I do things very kan cheong one.)
Good memory. (=.= Dun think so)
Moving (YES! MY WORDS OF ADVICE VERY MOVING DE. Wahahaha)
Motivates oneself and others. (Aiya, no one to motivate me ma.)
Sickness usually of the head and chest. (Chest no le. Head got ba)
Sexy in a way that only their lover can see. (HAHAHAHAHA)

Conclusion. This analysis is CRAP.

Thanks for reading through. LOL

2006-11-09T04:33:00.000+08:00

I am so tired.

sigh

2006-11-06T01:38:00.000+08:00

Leon..walking zombie..I need inspiration somewhere... says:
u seems very cheerful..
Leon..walking zombie..I need inspiration somewhere... says
u will smile after finishing typing a sentence..:

lolx. Thanks. Tat's what most people tell me.

I am cheerful most of the time I guess. Actually, I feel sad and down, but I still smile. I can smile and cry at the same time. To people it seems like I'm strong. Haha. Please, think again. ^^

There's school tml. Damn sian.

Everything changes in sch and everything suck la.

Stress.

Can I just die?

Going PC bunk on Tuesday.

2006-11-04T19:27:00.000+08:00

Okie. Suppose to do my homework, but then, tot of idea damn fast. Dunno why. Haha.

I'm tired la. Yesterday went Zaking with a few online friends, Zak until 7am in the morning. Today actually plan going to cine to Zak de, but then, Des didn't finish his quest, so no point, we went CWP and watch movie instead. Met up with MeiPing la, and even my brother say she look like me. She seem normal to me lo, u know sometimes net friends some siao siao de. Haha. But I can click with her very well, she's like a twin I nv had. Serious. ^^

Watched "Flushed Away" and the movie wasn't very bad.

After that we slack at mac for an hour or so talking and chatting away. lolx. Me, Des, my brother and MeiPing. ^^

Feeling tired, probably gonna sleep early. Tomorrow meeting Janna and gang for dinner. So happening ever since I quit my job. lolx.

2006-11-03T01:26:00.000+08:00

I dunno why these days isn't like wat I expected to be.

There's so many things I wanna say, too many people reading.

So many things happen today, so much I wanna say.

When Jess left me in the train, I just feel like crying.

I controlled, then cry when I alighted and walking home alone.

How long did I last cry on the way back home while walking?

I do not want advice, neither I want solutions. I just want someone to hug me and tell me everythings okie.

I just wanna cry.

Things happened today:

school sucks.
design history class wasn't that bad.
couldn't meet meiping and des for movie. meiping OT.
didn't meet danial though he called me out.
met up with jess, angeline and sam.
went ktv with jess and sam
had fun

Sigh, if she's so lucky, she's a star, but she cry cry cry in her lonely heart thinking if there's nothing missing in my life then whey do these tears come at night?

You know wat. When I'm feeling so down, I treasure nothing more then my cathay friends and my secondary sch friends. I'm so thankful, that I have friends who could understand me so well, and know wat to say at the same time.

But still, sigh. nvm forget it

2006-10-30T08:26:00.000+08:00

I just realised. That I have many stuff I have not touched.

Feeling so god damn stress. Feels like I need to buck up somehow.

So many things on my mind. I dun think I'm free anytime soon lo.

My projects, I gonna die la. Today got one deadline, and I totally forgot about it. How lame can I get?

I hope by today can hand in. Need to stay back and do lo. Wat else.

Sigh.

2006-10-29T20:47:00.000+08:00

Damn sad today can?

Sigh, I quit my job, then suddenly got a lot of problems from the shop lo. First was the 20% I gave to customers, not suppose to give, but I gave. Next was that Nor call me to tell me cash drawer short 50 bucks.

U know wat is the meaning of "what the fuck?"

To enlighten you guys, it just means that things are just wrongly justified. It's been a while since I last short so much, (please dun remind me of my 200 bucks shortage in a month when I was in Cathay) and I just hate it when becoming senior is such a chore. Aiya, can say that I'm running away from my responsibilities, but then, I'm just a part timer lo. I still young le. I dun wanna waste my youth away by working so god damn hard. Sure, no money, I just feel that life sucks when it's so, so... wat's that word... nvm.

Great. So just like wat Metta predicted, I'm gonna be broke. Paying so much after I quit my job was unexpected for. And I damn du lan. Plus the fact that I need to change my fucking phone, things aren't just going my way.

I just dun feel liek working so soon. There's projects to rush. Sigh.

2006-10-28T21:35:00.000+08:00

Muacks to a special someone. Huggies~ lu~ Thanks for making my mapling days memorable. ^^

"Faraway" by Nickleback

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Last day of work was pretty good. Felt free. Met a new part timer from suntec, he's only 17, but he look older then me lo. Which makes me a bit happy la. He's noisy, I like noisy people. Too bad he's too young for me. Haha. I dun like quiet people. >.< makes me feel uncomfortable.

Had to sleep at 2am, coz tml have to wake up early to do project. Had a date witl Mil at 3pm, hope can finish by then la. Til then, take care guys!

2006-10-27T21:38:00.000+08:00

Did I look like that? o.O

I suddenly had a phobia of clubs.

I had fun with my other friend talking my hearts heart and crapping. But when it comes to MOS, it just freaks me out. Probably coz it's months since I last club.

And, it's phobia you know? Phobia.

Somebody save me. T.T

2006-10-27T21:23:00.000+08:00

"I dun wanna believe that it's over now~"

Back from work, still have a bit of time for blogging. Realised how tired shit I am, I just wish tml I can skip work la. But no, I have to force myself to go work, since it's like my last day of work. Impression, impression. Sigh. A couple of things happened recently.

I guess I should start with my beloved N71. I'm just fugging fed up with that damn phone la.

Come on man, I bought it like last then 6 months ago and now it's the second time I'm servicing it lor. The whole connection was gone in my phone, and I'm freaking fed up. That night I'm suppose to go clubbing, and it really, totally, spoil my clubbing mood. What's the fugging point of a phone, when you cannot send or recieve message, and you cannot recieve or call calls out? THAT'S THE BASIC JOB OF AN HANDPHONE RIGHT? I'm serious pissed until I wanna cry at work lor. It's like, I wanna message also cannot and you're feeling damn frustrated, knowing someone out there is trying to contact you and u have no way to contact them back. I'M JUST PISSED OFF WITH IT MAN.

Thus, being pissed off, and pretty determine to get rid of my N71 before my temper got worst, I got my mum to check out the new phone that I have no choice but to like, 5300. To realise that my phone market price drop like hell, and that I have to pay 88 bucks more for that new phone. Fine. ANYTHING TO JUST GET RID OF THAT PHONE. Thus, by right I suppose to stay in town and meet up with Jess, I went home, just to get that new hp. And guess wat? That guy refused to accept my phone coz of the network problems. WTF. My freaking phone is under warranty and you dunno how to send it for repair? I mean, you guys actually sell the phone without checking it at nokia care first before selling it to customers ar? WTH lo. I met up with Jess WITHOUT a freaking phone that I'm comfortable with la. I'm still taking my mum's old samsung phone can?! I'm JUST SO PISSED.

And yes, met up with Jess, and I just drank and drank la. I onlyu know I drank 6 cups. And I was still feeling okie. But upon reaching MOS, I couldn't even walk straight la. After that, I just dun wanna mention anymore. I just throw my face everywhere can? Jess vomitted that night as well, but her friend came and fetch her home. Me? I COULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW I GOT HOME. I just know Irddy was there all the way la. And I'm totally totally, sigh. I jsut dunno how to say sorry lo. I'm just, embarrassing la. I hang over, vomitted through out the night. I FEEL SUPER BAD CAN!? I just felt like killing myself la. Seriously. There and then. JUST KILL ME

Sigh. Nightmare. Anyway, I went home at 6am, and my dad woke up when I open my door. Thank god he didn't see Irddy sent me home. He'll kill me. I couldn't make it to school, and when I wake up my throat felt like bleeding la. Vomited too much? Sigh

However, I did go and send my phone to the hospital la. And went to my brother's work place to enjoy a game or two.

Omg. Wednesday still haunts me when I'm alone. Seriously. I think about it and felt scared. Wat if it wasn't Irddy? I mean, I couldn't even REMEMBER how I got home. HOW?! OMG. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

2006-10-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

Change blog song. I love the previous one but I love this song as well man. Let them take turns lo.

Guys what guys. I quit my job. Hahaha. I haven't told my mum yet, but I think she's gonna blow la. =.= I dunno wat's gotten into me, I just quit my job like that. But I seriously have no heart to work now, just wanna enjoy life with my friends lo. DATE ME OUT GUYS!! I'M FREE FOR ALL LE!!

Work was boring as usual. I managed to spend my time away by drawing stuff, listening to mp3 while working (yes, I know I'm brave) and who knows the manager drop by for a visit. OMG lo. Somemore my handphone was on the sales floor. PLUS PLUS, I didn't take out the keys for the cash drawer. zzzz.

"Exciting" day at work lor.

Sigh.

OMG OMG. Clubbing tml leh!! I'm soooooooo excited can? JESS IS GOING!!! RAWBEAN!!! IRDDY!!! YAOWEI!!!! OMG OMG. HAHAHAHA. I very high now la. Just cannot wait lor! lol

2006-10-23T15:32:00.000+08:00

Oh well. Just finish up my assignment la. Damn stupid lor, give today the assignment have to finish by 6pm. WTH? Everyone got stressed and started to chiong ar, then I can't really slack also. =.=

I guess attachment did help a bit in my modelling. I think I would be in a lost if I hadn't practise my 3D modelling during my attachment la.

Weekends had been rather okie. Other then watching the movie Death Note, I think I pretty much spend myself at home mapling my time away.

However, meeting my god brother on Sunday was a happy one la. Death Note is NICE. I mean, I hadn't read the story or know anything about it, so i tot the movie was not bad. Those who read and know about the whole series might find it disappointing la. "L" is so cool. lol.

I'm ending my job at the beginning of December. Scotts closing, and I requested to end it there instead of transferring me to somewhere else and continue. I tot probably I need more time for sch already, since I'm like graduating. But like wat Metta says, who will yang wo? lol. Ask me want go back Cathay work? I still dunno the answer yet ba. lol. Ya ya, girls, I know, zzzz cannot make up their minds right? lalala~

Anyway. CLUBBING THIS WEDNESDAY!! I. Am. Totally. Looking. Forward. To. It. WAY TO GO~!!!!!!

2006-10-20T14:39:00.000+08:00

Wow. Sculpturing ended early. Which means most of the lessons can end early de lor. Wat am I gonna do when those lessons end early sia. Today also not much interaction with the class.

I WAN YW AND EKIN AND MELVIN! CRY!

Sigh. I was asked the question today, "Still mapling ar?" with the wtf look.

Didn't go Phyllis house le. Ended up I asked her help me take photos. Sch ended early and wanan go straight to her house but she at movie. I lazy to wait alone. So went home lo.

Robin catching Death Note today. Robin and gang. If after sch steady go ar, but have to wait til 8pm alone I also not very willing. Alone. Alone. Fug NYP again la. Starting to hate sch ever since FYPJ ends. Disappointment. I was so looking forward for sch to reopen somemore.

Oh ya. Forgot to mention I met up with Metta for a short while. Chat. Talk about stuff. Since Mel they didn't wanna watch Death Note in the end.

I watching on Sunday with my kor.

I wanna club. I wanna suntan. I seem so free, got things to do, but I'm not doing at all lo. .

WTF LA

2006-10-19T14:30:00.000+08:00

lalala.

Omg lo. Now only 2.30pm. My lecture starts at 3pm. And the previous lesson ended early at 12pm. Suppose to end at 2pm de. zzz. With 3 hours of break, I suggested going AMK to have lunch la. We settled at MOS burger, since it's near and the guys like bo chap. In the end I have to mke the decision again. I hate decision making >.<

Then, Mel they all started to talk about Pirates King online. Which I'm tempted to play la, but then, I'll miss maple de leh. It's just that, I really had fun playing maple. It's not about the lvling and stuff, it's about having real fun lo. I know you guys must be wondering what's so fun about maple, but trust me, if you got the right people, the right craps, the right information, playing maple is really hilarious. lol. My brother also playing back le, chionging his lvl and open guild liao. The new guild we had was freaking funny la.

First and foremost, Viv and Lex that I met during maple, they are FUN. Seriously lo. They joke and are very straight forward, and they joke like no mother business like that. Everytime bully me, but like I say, it's fun.

And there's Hanz, who nv fail to accompany me in guild when there's no one around. And my so-call honey, lol. I call him honey not coz we're together la, just call for fun. I just hope he dun fall for me. >.< PRAY. He got gf in real life, and his lvl lower then mine le. I dun want. wahahaha. Not sure if I'll marry in maple also, coz like need commitment. I got a lot of friends to entertain le. lol.

Well, I think this post talk a lot about Maple. Sorry guys if you guys dun like it. I hardly blog a lot about Maple anyway. It's always just one line telling you people about my lvl. Anyway. I'm 94 le. My 2x is still on, so, gotta chiong til 100 plus ba.

Felt a bit left out when people ask me, still chiong Maple ar? Just felt that, wat's wrong with it lo. Sure, you guys start playing other games, but then, nothing wrong about sticking to maple ma. Everytime lvl so high then I start playing, no point coz I can hardly catch up and cannot train together lo.

So. I'll stick to maple. For now. Not sure when I'm stopping. lol.

Oh ya, today I had fun in school. Met Melvin and Ekin by accident on the train, and we went sch and sit together. I good girl, help YW and Zul book place lo. >.< Then after that we split up la. YW and Zul went play pool. Me, Ekin, Mel and some others, went MoS eat burger. lol. We planning to go Vivocity later on. With Ker Hisen, Mel, Jian Zhi, Ekin. Planning to ask YW and Ezul le. See how. DUN SAY I EVERYTIME NO LIFE KEEP MAPLING HOR. This outing I suggest one ok!!!

Robin jio me club last night. I last night very tired, so I say I steady next week. lol. Jess wanna go? It's been a while lo. Since we last go clubbing. Jio your other friends also la. We go together?

Lalalala. Told you guys I'll be blogging more during school. I'll be more free. lol.

I thinking of quitting my job le. It's like I very sian of working liao. How?

I wanna go shopping~~~ SOb.

SIAN AR!!!!

2006-10-18T12:32:00.000+08:00

I just love my blog song la. lol. So romantic lo. So suitable for a guy who's chasing after a girl, then sing to her. Waa, damn sweet can? lol.

Afternoon le. But nothing to do. Damn sian. Tomorrow sch at 11.10am, so have to wake up at about 10am. Omg. I can't believe I'm blogging wat time I'm gonna wake up tomorrow. zz.

There are several stuff I need to start doing already. Been slacking a lot la, but just can't bring myself to do my stuff lor.

- Portfolio.
- Take shit photos for Audio and Game Effects. (Friday ba)
- Continue learning my driving. Stopped for a while now.

omg omg. So busy yet I'm slacking lo. Can I graduate or not? LOL.

Megaly sian.

~proof~

2006-10-16T19:25:00.000+08:00

lol. Hi guys.

First day of school huh? Well. Wat can I say?

Alright, basically I only had 1 hour of sleep the previous night. I couldn't fall asleep. Somehow or another. Just feel excited and scared. Weird. I should be feeling this when I first come to poly. In fact, when I first come to poly, I dun even care. Right now, I do, maybe coz I just want to leave this school with good memories. So ya, last night, I'm worried how am I gonna fit in and stuff. lol. I sound like a primary school wuss. >.<

And after that 1 hour sleep, I found out I actually have the energy to go to sch. lol. Melvin didn't come, which was rather sad la. I sat with someone whose name I dunno, and a girl from IM named Natelie. Weird why I wasn't sitting with any games student? That's coz everyone in Image Synthesis, I'm not very close with. I'm just lucky Natelie is a nice girl to crap with man. Wat's this feeling called? Lost. lol. Feel kinda weird to go lunch, so decided to go stright to class.

Which I hope is was happier. Stepping inside, I met PeiYi. Which I'm super happy la. Too bad she's at FYPJ, then cannot really hang with her. Then Melvin. He say he couldn't sleep last night thus wake up later for Image and decided not to go liao. Well. No sight of Ekin, Ezul, and YW la. lol. Went in have to sit with Melvin lo. T.T. Worse thing is, the homework we're given, I wasn't close to anyone la. T.T

After class, (which is 1 hour later) they went for lunch and I went home. Since I got no class, and I will be going home with Mel alone. I went to meet up with YiChun had had Swenson with her. Woots!

Thinking of going to Phyllis house to get those private house photographs. Thank god I have rich friends. lol.

That's about it. Seeya!

2006-10-13T02:42:00.000+08:00

Okie. To my beloved KJ. lol. This entry will be posted in wee hours just for ya. Since you say I haven't been updating much.

True that I used to update EVERY single day. From sec 4 til Cathay. All my entries I read back I laugh. I even kept that time mystry customer complain me de. And the mini popcorn bag. I take out today and laugh at them with Metta.

Oh ya, I didn't mention did I? Metta came over to stay today. First time. She now very engross in her puzzle bubble game la. lol.

Actually, I should be blogging more these days. Coz I feel down. But it seems like I become worse. This time, I didn't even choose to blog out anymore.

Humans are so complicated. Things they dun have they want it. When they have it they dun want it anymore.

Felt this sense of lost for a very long time already. But I not sure if I gonna do anything about it. If I do, I might make the same mistake again.

Wo zhen de bu dong. Zhen de bu dong wo yao ce me

2006-10-06T21:39:00.000+08:00

I miss my blog man. Haha. These days rather happening but didn't really have the time to blog them out. Oh well. Anyway.

After my uncle passed away, I mystriously fell ill. I vomited the whole night and lao sai lo, cannot make it. Then in the morning I had high fever. I was suppose to take care of my mum in the end she take care of me. >.< My family had to go out to settle my uncle's ashes, but my youngest brother stayed and took care of me. He even slept in my room until my dad comes back. I LOVE BROTHER GARY! lol.

Sick was horrible. I felt like vomitting all the time. zzz

Anyway, I met up with Robin and Yw for sushi yesterday. We had fun, just lazing around at Sakae CWP. I didn't wanna go to town, as I still feel like vomitting. I didn't really eat much at sushi too, but I came out just to meet them and ya, I'm happy. ^^ I hope sch reopen things will be just like that..

Speaking of reopening of school. TIMETABLE IS OUT GUYS!!! GO CHECK THEM OUT!!! ROAR!!!!

2006-09-30T18:45:00.000+08:00

Can I just post a blank entry? Nah. =) But my mind is blank right now.

My sister probably know wat happened.

My uncle just went to heaven today. This afternoon. Around 3 plus.

My mum called me to inform me.

I was outside shopping. Btw, bought a bag, shoes and slippers. Kinda happy if it wasn't that my uncle passed away. I just shop for wat I need, ate some ice cream, had a chat with my sisters, went MOS burger took some photos, etc.

But my heart, I know very well that I'm worried about my mum.

I called her second time, and this time she's crying very badly. I hear her cry, my heart really aches. I feel like crying in the middle of the Orchard road, but nah, I'll just wait til I reach home.

By the time I'm home, my whole family is like being stoned la. I dunno wat I can do to help. I left my sisters early to go home to do something, maybe tidy the house or something, but I realise I just couldn't do anything.

I cannot say I'm extremely sad over the death of my uncle, but my uncle was once close to me and my brother. I just felt some kind of a lost, and worried for my mum's health. And sort of frighten as well.

And right now, I just cannot seem to cry le.

I guess you really got to treasure your life. You'll nv know when you're leaving.

I hope my uncle can finally find peace in heaven.

2006-09-27T18:20:00.000+08:00

Had some time for an entry.

Wat can I say. Seeing how two of my friends struggling with their emotional turnover, I wanna help but I know myself I cannot help much. The more I say wouldn't probably lead to more quarrels and stuff. Heart kinda ache to see things happen like that. But it's nobody's fault seriously, it's just a process of life, things like that happen. Sigh.

My heart is aching myself. My uncle is in hospital. I not sure if most of you guys know, but then, my uncle has AIDS for very long while now, and he kena cancer recently. I think Metta knows la, I did mention somehow when I was late night chatting with her. Cannot make it le. Which makes me feel a bit frighten about life. How easily stuff like that take away. Wat if I kena something and gonna die in 3 months time that sort of thing. zzzz. My mum was crying the past two days. How life can be so short. I'm scared. No matter how much I feel like dying sometimes, I'm still scared to think that wat if I'm gonna die?

I remembr my uncle being hilarious. Though a bit perverted, aiya, uncle ma. zzz. He looks kinda scary at first sight, with his left (or was it right?) eye gone, only his the other eye working. He look like the typical gangster, but he was nv like that. He nv really do any sins in his life as well, except the fact when his wife died, he went to indo and gao nu ren, until he kena AIDS come back to Singapore. He comes to our house often, even when he has AIDS. I mean, I nv felt fear of being affected, coz I know how AIDS passed around. I study bio ma. zzz. He's strong, fighting until now. If I'm not wrong, he's fighting for 5 years le.

I think wat upsets my mum was that my auntie didn't visit him. That auntie all along nv regard her family as family one. She's just all about $$ and $$ and $$, and when my uncle was rich she will come back just for the money, and if not, the money she all keep to herself de. I'm glad that somehow, me and my brothers weren't like that. Or, I hope we wouldn't be like that in the future. I love my brothers, they treat me good and dote on me. I love my parents too, though sometimes things happen about $$ and things turn ugly. But one can never escape the fact that it's family. Some people doesn't give their family a chance to communicate, I guess I did give them a try and put myself in their shoes. That's why I still believe in my family no matter how many shits we been through.

A lot of stuff is going through in my life now. Not sure if I'd cry, but I'll hang on. After all, life is like that. I know I'm not alone. =)